I've been thinking about posting this here for a while i don't know if an advice is necessary but i've been curious if other people have this kind of thoughts. Well, i know i am very young yet and all but i don't see myself having a family, having children and i know this might sound pretty cold but i guess its just me, i don't feel like having a family, just a partner that will love me and take care of me as i will for him (or her). And i personally think that i wouldn't be able to raise a healthily family, for many reasons, if you guys think its necessary for me to get in details about this, its Ok i will, just post telling me if you think it is, and why please. I sometimes have some weird thoughts like; "I'm going to teach my Son this because i don't want him to be like this", "My Son will have to play this kind of video game, its the best!", "I'll give my Son a very good education so he won't follow an ignorant path in his life". And when i have these thoughts i think about a Son with my genetics, like not because i am against adoption, but heck i don't even wish to have children adopted or of my own (really, doesn't matter for me) but its like it feels that if i would have children it would "feel" easier for me to have children of my own, the biggest problem is: I lean towards guys XD Really, what comforts me is that my Brother is straight (at least thats what i know) and I'm pretty sure he will do the job of maintaining part of my genetic in this world so it comforts me that i don't want to have children but will have pretty direct descendants (direct enough i think.) But why do i have these thoughts all the time? I don't want to have children, i lean towards guys, and i feel that i wouldn't be a perfect father, still i kept having these thoughts! its completely paradoxical!! Do you think at some point i will adopt or have children?
I sometimes have the same thoughts. I always say I'll never have kids, I won't ever even have a partner. But then I catch myself planning how I would raise my kid. But you still have a long way to go, as do I. And if one day you have children, then you will do the best you can, and actually you'd be surprised at how great you will be at it . Not everyone is perfect at it, especially because children will learn to make their own choices. But you don't need to worry about that too much yet. And if you never have children, there's nothing wrong with that. Because either way its your own decision. Basically what I'm saying is that you're young, and many things will change in you by the time you start having (or not having) children. You may decide you do want children. Just be patient and things will happen exactly the way they're ment to. Much luck, and much love<3
I don't think it's weird to go back and forth on this at all. Having children is a big deal, it changes your life a lot, and while some people definitely want to and some people don't, many people have at least some interest and misgivings mixed together. Ultimately, if you decide you want to adopt/have children, you will. Whomever you're with, guy or girl, or even if you're by yourself, you'll be able to make this a part of your life if it's something you choose. The only thing I would say is don't worry about doing the "job" of "maintaining part of your genetics." It's not a "job," it's a choice, and nobody would actually blame you for not wanting to do it.
I understand that, its just that it feels like it would be "part of me" staying in this world and giving continuation to myself even after my death, even thought raising an adopted child would also be leaving part of myself, because that person would have learned stuff from me and will teach many things based on what i taught him/her. I personally think that is important, still i never felt like having children. Also, is not this kind of thoughts more common between women?
