First off: I've been in love with this site since the first day I discovered that it existed. The posts that I've read have been helpful in more ways than I could count, and the fabulous people out there that reply to threads often give better advice in two-three typed out sentences than most of my friends can in two-three hours (though they try, and love them dearly for it). My dilemma = I was an assistant high school coach this season (the kind with long hours and low pay). I was asked to resign in the middle of the season because (among other erroneous reasons) one of the girls on my team claimed that I had made a pass at her. *Before anybody assumes the worst in me, keep in mind a few things: I like guys my own age, she's an underage girl, and I would never consider putting my job in jeopardy by doing anything that stupid.* I'm out to my friends, but have kept family/everyone else in the dark about my orientation because I know the negative way in which they will react. If I come out to the administration of the school/parents/yadda yadda it will potentially clear my name of any wrong-doing (that I never did in the first place). However, if I am to come out, I will also have to deal with the general intolerance of everybody that I see on a day-to-day basis. Is my decision going to come down to choosing the lesser of two evils? In my mind this is a lose-lose situation where I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. What should I do? What are your thoughts? *I'll elaborate and share any detail that I may have inadvertently left out with how hastily this has been typed up.
This was well written. I would suggest that these are two separate situations. I would maintain your innocence without the use of the justification of your orientation. It may complicate open up more than just the situation with the girl and it doesn't necessarily clear your name, but opens more questions. Is there any sort of appeal process or is this a done deal?
I'd still stick with the rule of: come out only when you feel you are ready. As you mention, coming out will potentially clear your name, BUT the accusation is a false claim. There should be other ways to clear up this unjust claim instead of you having to tell anyone else your orientation.
I'd find other ways to clear your name, but if worst comes to worst, you can use your orientation as a last defence. Don't use it as an excuse publicly, though.
