What to do when "Anti-Bullying" becomes offensive to religion. As many of you may know (if you know me at all you probably do) my parents are VERY vocal about their religious beliefs towards homosexuality and other "sins". This has lead to me dealing with loud debates about homosexuality and other issues (I am an atheist democrat whereas they are both Christian republicans) on a daily basis. I have become very efficient at dealing with this hostile environment and I never hesitate to share my beliefs as they share theirs. The problem that I am now facing is that the environment is getting even more hostile than usual. It has come to the point were my parents are feeling threatened and offended even when I share simple stories on subjects such as anti-bullying. I am finding it harder and harder to express my opinion on any matter without having to launch into debates where my dad and mom (mostly my dad) yell at me as I try to hold my ground. Any advice on how to strengthen myself against this would be greatly appreciated.
do nothing, you shouldn't waste energy on people who don't want to learn/understand or change, you just pick up what you have and move on.
I think it's great that you are so dedicated to standing up for yourself and speaking your mind. Here's my take on this: If your reason for speaking out is to prevent your parents from trying to deny or change your sexual identity, or force you back in the closet - in other words, if they are the ones bringing these subjects up and forcing their views on you - I think you simply need to find a calm, clear-headed statement that you can repeat to them whenever this happens. Something like, "I know who I am, and nothing you say is going to change that." Don't engage in an argument or let yourself get hot-headed, just calmly and firmly stand your ground. If, on the other hand, your reason for speaking up is because you're trying to change their minds - if you're the one bringing up these subjects most of the time - I'd ask you to consider whether it's worth so much of your time and energy. I have very, very different political views from my father, and I used to constantly butt heads with him over issues we disagree on - and I got absolutely nowhere with him. So I just don't bother bringing up certain topics anymore, and if he says something that bothers me I simply say, "Well, I disagree" and leave it at that. We have a much more harmonious relationship that way. The fact is you likely won't change your parents' political views by arguing with them. The best thing you can do to convince them that they're wrong about homosexuality is to live your life being true to who you are, and show them they're wrong.
So they see anti-bullying as anti-christian? If that's what it amounts to, I'm not surprised, if thy listen to moron groups like AFA, FOF, CWA, etc. They think if junk-science reparative therapy isn't taught along with the truth that all sexualities are equally good, then that's anti-christian. You probably have to give up on convincing them. Move out and avoid them as soon as you can and like Chandra said agree to disagree and walk away if they want to argue.
In many cases it starts where my dad is ranting about something (usually something he knows we disagree on) and I attempt to hold my position. I don't get hot headed during arguments, because I very strongly believe that having someone disagree with you is extremely important to understanding your own opinions; the problem is that they usually get very angry if I don't agree with them. I also really like posting Facebook statuses about things I feel strongly about. Usually they are about how everyone should feel equal (I try to make them relevant to making people feel better) and a lot of the time I end up getting yelled at because my parents find them "offensive" for one reason or another (in their minds someone disagreeing with them is offensive). I very commonly attempt to end arguments with "We will just have to agree to disagree" but this doesn't work with my dad because he feels the need to be right, and he only feels right if the person he is debating with agrees with him; thus the argument isn't over until he says it is. I would be completely fine not arguing with just my parents, but I think Facebook is a very important tool for getting messages out there, and I wont remain silent simply because they don't like what I have to say.
Ok, I know the type like your dad, can't stand that type. You could walk into another room and he'd follow you to keep repeating his opinion in the vain hope that you'll agree with him. Those guys need anger management or something. I'm gld you stick to your guns on important issues, as you should. Until you can move out on your own, maybe put your parents in a facebook group where they don't see the truth you want the rest of the world to see. Obviously they're not gonna come around and it might save you lots of pointless wasted energy. Of course he could stop looking at your updates. Haha, maybe you should comment on each issue you post on fb how your dad reacts to the simple value of equality that you're promoting so others know how unreasonable he is. Good luck, dude.
The problem with uber-religious people is that they are absolutely convinced that God himself is speaking directly through them, and therefore, there's no possible way they can be wrong. I guess it depends on what your agenda with the conversation is. If it were me, I'd simply refuse to engage. Something like "You've already heard my views. I hear yours as well, but neither of us are going to change, so it's pointless to argue, and I'm not going to engage." And then simply, flatly, totally refuse to engage, no matter what's said. The interesting thing about that is... the other side gets more and more enraged because they simply can't get you to engage with them. But eventually they have to give up because nothing works. Ordinarily, I'd suggest trying logic and all of that, but it's clear you've been trying to do that for years without success, and I suspect that your dad may simply not even be *capable* of adapting to and processing that information. There's newer research that many uber-conservative religious types have less ability to incorporate new information that challenges existing information. This isn't a slam, but simply a new take on brain function (there's a Ted talk by Jonathan Haidt on this, worth checking out.) So I think I'd just choose not to battle.
