Hi! So, as you probably saw by my username, I don't really identify with 'gay' for personal beliefs... That being said, I essentially am gay. That's how I told my mother almost 3 years ago and that's what I told my ex-best-friend. I'm just not comfortable with defining myself as anything (which I'll have to re-evaluate later, because it'll be hard to date if I refuse to tell people I'm gay :icon_wink) ANYWAYS. I want to come out to my dad. Once my dad knows, I'm going to finally be 'free' in the sense that I'm not going to lie about what I like (boys!). I don't agree with 'telling' everybody because honestly it's nobodys business. I know that at the end of the day, I'll just have to come out and say it to him, but I was wondering if anybody had any advice? He's never shared any positive or negative feelings towards the gay community so I have NO idea how he'll take it. I was 14 when I told my mom and I just sort of blurted it out... I wasn't ready and remembering that night is NOT fun. I want there to be more thought behind telling my dad. I don't live with him either Thanks a bunch!
I curious as to why you dont identify as gay for personal beliefs and yet say that you are "essentially gay." i guess "that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." what im getting at is why is the label "gay" so hard to accept for you? and what are you going to come out to you dad as? are you going to say "dad, im dont identify as gay but I like boys." I think this may really confuse him and make a difficult situation even more difficult IMHO. the term gay is just a short hand we humans have created to describe in one word our identities, our sexual interests, and other information about ourselves. if i were to go to another country, i would identify as an american and that would give someone a good idea of my identity (my language, beliefs, heritage, etc).
Have you given any thought to how you want to tell him, as in face to face, writing it down, over the phone? xx
Exactly. "Gay" holds absolutely no meaning to past sexual interests. "Gay" is not my identity and doesn't relate to any reasons about me other then that I'm attracted to boys. I'm not going to refer to myself as "gay" because there's more to me than my interest in boys. It's who I am and how I feel about it. As far as telling my father, I would refer to myself as gay for the sake of ease. If he were to refer to me as his "gay son" then I would not approve as that's not all that I am. ---------- Post added 5th Feb 2012 at 10:43 PM ---------- Yes, it would be face to face as a sign of respect (although over the phone might be easier!:lol
i see your point but i think most here would argue that they're more than just their sexual orientation (or gender)
You could write out what you want to say in a letter, and then read it to him in person. That way you can really plan it out. Identifying as gay does not imply that gay is all that you are. It's one thing about you, not everything.
