So I'm a bisexual girl who's currently with a guy. I've never been with a girl and as far as anyone is concerned, I'm straight. Is there any point in coming out? I mean -- I've been with my boyfriend for years and I'll probably always be with him. I'd like to be with some girls at some point and maybe even some other guys, but I love my boyfriend and I don't see the point in breaking up for the sake of experience. But I am bi, and I'd like people to know I think, but is there any point in telling anyone? I mean, you never know how people will react and will it be worth it? People will probably forget and assume I'm straight again or think I'm just doing it for attention because I've never had a girlfriend. So yeah -- is there any point in coming out as bi if you are with someone of the opposite sex anyway?
I don't know, I guess it depends on your perspective. On one hand, you're sort of living your life with a mask over your face since you're technically in the closet. No one really knows who you are. They only know half of what you're feeling. You're sort of acting your way through life. ..and then on the other, by coming out, your boyfriend might feel a little threatened by this new revelation and wonder what to do with it. If you do decide to come out, I think it's important that you don't half-ass it. If you come out, lay it all on the line. Tell everyone what you just told us here. You're committed to your boyfriend but you want to be honest with people and explore your identity and community. If people say you're 'just doing it for attention' or whatever other bisexual stereotypes they come up with--don't be scared to put them in their place. You have to stand up for yourself. Don't let other people put you into a box you're not comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself for now though. If you're happy, that's the only important thing.
Do it. If he really loves you the way you love him then surely he will understand. There is most definitely a point to coming out as bi, especially in an opposite sex relationship. Things are rough right now for a lot of bisexuals; it will not 'get better' for us by being secretive about it. Not 'being with' any girls does not make you a heterosexual either, heterosexuals like the opposite gender, not both, and living as one is still a fake life, even if you do feel opposite-gender attractions.
That's for the advice guys! @Kidd I never even thought about being 'in the closet'. That kinda upset me -- I'm all for people coming out and I'm supportive of my gay friends when they came out. That makes me such a hypocrite! I never even realised haha @OhCrap I actually already told my boyfriend a few days ago and he was so cool about it. He's been really supportive too! I totally agree with you, though. it won't get any better for us, esp for ones in opposite-sex relationships, to be taken seriously if we all hide behind our 'one or the other masks'.. I guess it's kinda my duty as a Bisexual to come out to everyone else now. To inform and educate haha #PRIDETIME# Hmm, I'll have a think about how to do this well. (and if I get any crap, my college is super pro-GBLT cos I live in quite a gay area so I can always go crying to them for help haha)
Most importantly, you need to present your authentic self to the important people in your life--otherwise, you will feel like your relationships with them are false, and that they don't love you for who you really are. ---------- Post added 6th Feb 2012 at 12:53 AM ---------- Oh, and congratulations on coming out to your boyfriend!
@Ianthe Thanks for the congrats and you're right. If I'm hiding it, it's like hiding a major part of myself and that's not right. I guess I sort of owe it to everyone important to me to tell them. Otherwise they don't know who I really am!
