I came out to my friends back home and finally I felt like I wasn't keeping it all bottled up. Fast forward 6 months later. I'm in my second semester at college and NOBODY here knows. I have a close group of 6 or so friends I'm considering telling, one of which is my roommate. I keep procrastinating on when to tell them. I don't want to freak my roommate out. I also can't decide if I should tell them all together or not. I know if I tell one person it will spread life wildfire. I'm just so sick of having to hide this part of my life. PLUS I have no idea how to tell them, especially because I am pansexual and a lot of people don't even know what that means...help me!!
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! You can always try just starting with the definition--as in, "I'm attracted to people or not regardless of gender," or "gender really doesn't make any difference in whether I'm attracted to someone." They will probably reply with something like, "Oh, so you're bisexual?" The reason that they will reply that way is that the word "bisexual" has been used in a way that is inclusive of pansexuality since before the word "pansexual" existed. So, you can say, "Yes, but I prefer the term "pansexual" because it's specifically inclusive of people who don't fit clearly into either sex." Or something along those lines. In most cases, coming out will be as big a deal as you make it. If you just include it in conversation when it's relevant, it will usually go fairly well. Do you have any reason to think your roommate or anyone else will be particularly bothered?
I think do it how you feel more comfortable, if you would rather tell your roommate first and then have her help you by being there when you tell the others then that is cool, if you would rather just go through it once and tell them altogether then thats cool too. Perhaps you could write down what you want to say, and then read it when you tell them so you can have it to remind you what you want to say incase your mind goes blank. You could also print off some information about pansexuals just incase they want to read it.
