confusion

Firstly coming out is not a one way street, although I know exactly how you feel. If you come out as 'confused', 'questioning' or even 'gay' and then never date or experiment with another guy again then thats ok, if you fall in love with a girl then thats cool, it happens.

As for whether you are gay or not its difficult to say from what you have posted, but if you just forget about being confused for a moment and just try and imagine the person you would most like to be right now, is it a guy or girl. If you imagine yourself settled down with someone or dating someone is it a guy or girl. Try and just let your mind wander and see where it takes you.

 

Firstly welcome to EC

Secondly I agree with Silverhalo . . . what feels right?

Also don't fret, just take things as they come, everybody in my form at school knew every stage of my journey, although I can see why people wouldn't like this, the amount of times I 'changed' my sexual orientation is unbelievable, so coming out is not a one way street at all. Is there any other friends you'd feel comfotable talking to about it or even the other friend that already knows?

I think that discovering your sexual orientation is a journey and is not necessarily one that can be logically thought about, it can be a long or short journey and the process can be very different for different people so take things as they come. And try not to think too much, try simply feeling without any boundaries. This is more difficult than it sounds, but power, or more to the point relax, through and be persistant.

 

i guess what do you wnat? jsut because you had one experience or 10 expereinces with a guy does not make you one thing or the other. it just means you had those experiences. if you like girls more and want that for your future, go with girls, if you like guys more focus on them. what do you wnat?

 

Hi, and welcome!

One experience does not define who you are. We consider sexual orientation to be defined by who you are romantically and sexually interested in, not by who you have had "experiences" with.

If you didn't have to worry about what anyone would think of you, what sort of people would you want to date?

 

I know exactly how you feel. When I first started questioning my sexuality I felt immense pressure to make a decision and come out. This left me with constant anxiety and depression. Finally I was able to come to a point where I decided I wasn't going to worry about making a decision yet. I'm not going to worry about whether I am still attracted to women on or not. Instead, I would focus on confirming my attraction to other men.

For example:
Acknowledging to myself when I saw an attractive man.
Letting myself think of men as possible lovers.
Engaging in fantasies about having sex with other men.

I still have days where I question whether I'm really gay, or whether I might still be attracted to women. But when that happens I always try and remind myself that, irregardless, I have these feelings sometimes and to ignore them any longer is just going to make me more miserable. So go ahead and take your time. Explore yourself. Once you are comfortable with your feelings maybe you will feel more comfortable discussing it with someone else. (not that I can talk, I'm still not out to anybody but my therapist)

Also, I'm sorry when you discussed it with your friend it did not go well for you. You didn't specify whether your friend was supportive or not. While you're still questioning it might be best to talk to people who you know will be 100% supportive e.g. a therapist or other gay persons. It's always nice to have your feelings validated in person. It was one of the best feelings in the world for me.