There's this guy at my college that is such a perfect guy for me. He doesn't even know I exist and he has a girlfriend. I'm so into him. He's Spanish, wears that Real Madrid jersey all the time and has the best smile i've ever seen. I like him so much and I know he'll never like me back because he's not gay. It's becoming too much. All around campus I see so many attractive guys that I just know are straight...they always are. I don't understand how i'm supposed to be gay and have relationships when the men i'm attracted to are all straight. I feel like im going to explode. I don't have the courage to talk to any of them because of how insanely ugly I am compared to them. I feel so cut off and lonely, separated from everyone. It's just not fair...
Do you have any place to go where you know all (or at least the majority) of the men there will be gay? When I started finding places like that it helped a lot with crushing on hetero men. Doesn't matter where it is, really - gay bar/club, lgbt meeting on campus, gay social club, a class on lgbt stuff where people out themselves naturally, anything. When you have the comfort of not needing to worry about their orientation, it makes going back to the "hetero" world kind of a drag. At least it did for me, as I don't find myself getting anywhere near as interested in guys until I know if they're gay or not. Also, don't sell yourself short on your appearances. Everybody feels like *something* about their appearance is undesirable, but virtually everybody is somebody's type. I'm starting my second ltr in my life and in both of them my partner was surprised, at least at first, that I was into them. In all honesty, I was surprised - again, at first - that they were into me, too. So you never know - some guy could be checking you out on campus and thinking "man, he's hot...I wish he were gay!" Hang in there!
I know how you feel too. I see hot straight guys everywhere too. Something to remember is that you're not ugly yourself. No one is. So what if you don't find yourself attractive? Someone else does. And don't just focus on the fact that he won't/doesn't love you back. If you can't shake falling for him, think about just your love for him. It's what I did for a couple of guys, and I find it's easier to live with, that way.
I know exactly how you feel...I have a lot of straight friends, many who I was attracted to at first but I've finally realized I'll never have anything with a straight guy, even though it used to kill me. I don't wanna say I act perfectly normal around a very attractive straight guy, but I just know in the back of my head it won't happen. I don't really flirt with good looking guys, but I just try and make the best of the situation by talking without intention.....does that make sense?
i can feel your pain and i have expressed this as well. its frustrating. but the reality is most guys are not gay. they are straight. it doesn't matter if they are kinda bi or a quarter gay or if they smiled at you or whatever else ones mind may want to fantasize over. the reality is they want a girlfriend and they do not want a dude. so you have two options: 1. continue to stare at guys that are not going to want you and wonder if they are gay or not. 2. go to gay places where gay guys are and where you know they are gay. pick option #2 and find someone there that you're interested in. until you do, you're going to be looking under stones trying to find gay people that don't exist. ---------- Post added 7th Feb 2012 at 08:06 PM ---------- ^^^^ so true. once you go to gay places and see guys that you are attracted to and you know they are gay. doesn't mean you're going to get them or they are goign to like you but atleast you know "they're gay" and you dont have to go through all this wondering crap. and u r so right, once you go to places like that, going to straight places and standing there looking at some guy that you know ultimately is not going to want you becuase he is straight and is looking at girls...well it becomes a drag and you lose interest in it and lose interest in taking yourself to that gay-straight crush place.
