so I have always been a very straight man. I love women, and I am married. 6 years ago, a year before i met my wife, i noticed that when i saw a mans penis..i became very sexually aroused. i began having intense and frequent sexual fantasies of giving a hot guy oral sex and getting anal. the fantasies are so intense that i simulate the acts with sex toys. anyways, girls i have dated have confronted me about my orientation, and men hit on me. the catch in all this is..i have no desire at the current time to date a guy. honestly, my confusion is at an all time high, and i dont know how to handle it. lot of it is curiosity. wondering if its for me. the weird thing too is how many female friends of mine have confronted me about it. my wife has made comments when shes wasted that make me think she suspects something, and then there was the whole craigslist thing she caught me looking at the casual encounters on craigslist once. like, i searched for bi couples. shes like, why were you on there? at first i denied it, then shes like dont lie to me..its not that a big of a deal. you arent gay are you? i said no, then shes like..its not that big of a deal. she had seen the browsing history. PS. I am 27. I love women, always have. Love sex, and have a high sex drive. However, I can't ejaculate inside a woman on a regular basis. This has happened with every girl ive slept with. Is this due to too much masturbation, or is my body trying to tell me I am homosexual? Hello everyone. I have recently discovered I am quite possibly bisexual as I desire to perform sexual acts on men. My only issue is figuring out a way to tell my spouse. I am not sure how she would react to the news, as she sometimes seems close minded about the topic, but then other times not. When she drinks, she makes comments that make me think she suspects something..but I dont know exactly how she will react..and that is what scares me. On one hand, I can see her freaking out..on the other..I can see her not being suprised at all. I wish there was a way to see exactly how she would react..before I tell her. Any suggestions? Thanks !
Hello greenthumb95, I went through very similar issues to you. I grew up playing and excelling at macho sports, so coming to terms with my gayness has been a rough path. You can read my coming story that I've posted on EC here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/57362-coming-out-story-physical-violence-included.html To me, it's pretty obvious that you are at least bisexual. My opinion doesn't matter though. Ultimately you'll have to sit down and be honest with yourself, which is not an easy thing for many people, me included. You may have feelings of guilt, regret or shame when you accept who you are, I did. I think the most important thing to remember is that everyone's journey to their sexuality is unique and it's important to have people that you can trust and talk to. Whenever I'm in a situation, I look at the people who are on the same path but 40 years down the road. When I looked at being closeted vs. gay, I realized that my options were to eventually become an old, bitter, angry man or start living a life of fulfillment, companionship and happiness. I hope this helps you at least a little bit.
Hey, Green! Been there. Jerked that. Gotten caught. (Oh, and I denied it to my wife, too.) I've personally found my stasis after many years of struggling. You can, too. Unlike you, I'm mostly aroused by men. Fortunately, you're aroused by women, too. In my view that makes you more like a Porsche Cayenne--you've got dual functions. Since you're married, you may have to explore just where you are in accordance with your value system. But lying is never a good start. And I have had difficulty ejaculating inside lately, too. If you are circumcised, it may be because of lack of sensitivity on your glans and a loss of your frenulum, the little piece of skin on the underside of your penis that has most of the nerve endings. There are several things you can do to increase your sensitivity, though. It's possible to restore your foreskin--PM me when you get to that status. Or, cover your glans and let it dekeratinize. The head of your dick was never meant to be an external organ. But otherwise, just enjoy that you can keep going and let your wife "finish" first. Most women would LOVE to have a man that doesn't squirt within the first 5 seconds. Write on my wall if you wanna talk. Tracker.
Hi Greenthumb, I've been there too. Like you I at first just thought it was a phase and that I wasn't gay. As the years went on and the thoughts didn't go away, but got stronger, I realized I was indeed gay and in denial. I eventually came out to my wife a few years agao, after I was caught red handed on a gay porn site. She said she knew from the day we met that I was gay. Crazy huh? So maybe you are gay, maybe you are bi, but the bottomline is you are probably not all that straight. But in the end it is up to you to figure out.
