I guess the title is self-explanatory, I'm feeling really bummed (and consequently kinda pessimistic/cynical). Normally, life would be good. We finally got our lease signed, and not even 20 minutes after we found someone for our last room. Problem solved. Now I can come out to the rest of my house and be done with it. The thing is, my last housemate and the new housemate (who is his friend) are both pretty religious. I'm sure it'll go fine still, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's one of those moments where you thought you had it all figured out, but it turns out you really didn't. Beyond that, I just got turned down for a summer job I was really looking forward to. In itself, that's not that bad, but I'm feeling like a bit of a failure now. One of my new housemates is pretty damned successful; already working in a small business, in one of the most 'respected' programs at the school, done a few research positions already, and he's only 18. Top that off with the rest of my house who are not quite as much but still successful, my ego's taking a bit of a hit. The thing is, I've taken some setbacks over the course of the last two years, between all the sexuality and divorce stuff. Personally, I'm fine with it, because I'm happy to have things sorted out and I feel like I've become a 'better person' because of it. I'm content with my personality and the kind of person I am, and consequently the kind of friends I surround myself with. But because I've wasted so much time on all that, my academics slipped a bit, and I didn't do a co-op or anything last year. It's not that I don't want to, in fact, I think I'm getting to a point where I can start really dedicating an appropriate amount of time to my school and future. I feel like I'm already so far behind the pack though... I mean, even if there are still jobs to apply for for this summer (since it's getting pretty late), I'm not enrolled in co-op yet, so I'd have to find them myself. Then on top of that, I'd have to find a way to sell myself when my marks aren't particularly stellar and I don't have any relevant experience/technical background to pad my applications with. And then find a way to nail all the interviews and stuff like that. I just don't really know where to go from here, except to obviously keep trying, but it's seeming kind of... futile to even try at this point. But I know if I don't, I'm not going to get anywhere. I mean, there's gotta be a better way to do it. To make this into something somewhat constructive (instead of me complaining the whole time), does anyone have any ideas on how I can make the non-technical stuff I've dealt with over the last couple years (sexuality, divorce) applicable to more technical jobs (and/or how to put it on a resume/CV)? Obviously it grants me personal descriptors like 'persevering' and stuff, but I can't think of much beyond that. And if you made it this far, thanks for putting up with all of that.
Hey. You need to stop beating yourself up. It sounds to me like you're REALLY put together and doing fine. Only you choose to compare yourself to people who (in your opinion) are doing even better than you. If those are the kind of people who want to hang out with you, then you can't be too bad yourself. Yes - dealing with your orientation and personal stuff at home (divorce) can set you back. I feel the same way. But at the same time - like you - I feel pretty damned good about myself now, and what I've managed to get through. Don't lose sight of that. I didn't have the greatest summer jobs - but in the end I got a great job out of university and have proven myself at work over these past 17 years. I'd say I've done fairly well for myself. So getting a fantastic summer job at age 20 does not determine your success or failure for the rest of your life. Try not to sweat it, and stay positive. I don't think you can put on your resume that you've struggled with coming out over the past 2 years. That would just be a little awkward. MAYBE it would be something you could allude to in an interview, but not likely. But i'm sure there are things you can draw upon that would be positive additions to your resume. If you want any pointers or help going over it, let me know.
I can't speak for every technical company out there, but I work for one of the major chemical companies, and I've found that when recruiting people, those "persevering" point count for more than you'd give them credit for. When I'm doing interviews, I will actually prefer someone who comes across as level-headed, composed and "having his/her act together" than someone who just rattles off a list of technical competencies but who I otherwise can't get a handle on. Because technical competencies can be learned (any tech company will require you to relearn half your stuff anyway), and a general attitude in life can't. If you want to present them well, you might want to present them as examples of analysis and problem solving, though. It's not a technical problem, but it can be a good description how you deal with problems in general. For example, when they asked on my interview what the toughest decision I had to make was, and how I tackled it, I gave the example of my father's passing away and the decision to keep living at home and continue my studies, even throughout his illness. No tear-jerky stuff, just: this was a tough situation, that's how I handled it. Don't ever apologise about the things you did or did not do, but present them as the best-informed choice you made at the time. You might not want to put it explicitely on your resumé, but these issues are definitely something you're allowed to bring up, I'd say. The divorce issues moreso than the coming out, perhaps, depending on how accepting the prospective employer seems.
Thanks guys for the replies. Reading this over, I was in a major funk yesterday. But I went out for an inline skate in the cool, crisp, night air and felt loads better. 10 hours sleep didn't hurt any either That's reassuring to hear (particularly after we come out of our class with our prof reminding us that if we forget how to properly read phase diagrams, we'll be fired instantly ). Though, part of that is because our prof is legitimately "HIGH EXPECTATIONS ASIAN FATHER" meme, in real life, lol. I think I know myself well enough that if I got an interview, I could probably nail it (barring this one, it was my first 'real' interview and my first group interview... unexpected to say the least). And I also know that if I didn't get selected, it's not so much that I did poorly, but more that someone did better than I did. I think I came to the decision (and I don't know how viable it is, so it's subject to change) that instead of worrying about getting a co-op this summer, I'm just going to focus on making money (theoretically two jobs) so I can make sure I can stay next year, and focus on my courses. Burning myself out with a full time job during the day, then 3 hours of night class (math at that) twice a week, and part time work on the weekends, isn't a good idea. Assuming I got a full time co-op, everything else would probably suffer and not set me up for anything great next year (unless they hired me back or something). And I guess I didn't make myself clear, I know I can't write down (explicitly) about my coming out or parents divorcing or any other personal things. Beyond unprofessional, it's totally irrelevant. But I'll keep those tips in mind, so it's much appreciated. Regardless, thanks.
