I have always liked women and been attracted to them. I was with guys so I would "fit in" but I never felt normal. I didn't have my first experience with a woman until I was 20, and from that point on I knew that was the reason why I never truly felt anything when I was with a guy. I didn't tell anyone until 2 years later and the people I told said it was just a phase cause I was having bad luck with guys. Then a friend of mine came out and introduced me to her girlfriend and I ended up hanging out with them and went to a few gay bars. I had finally felt comfortable and felt like I fit in. I started dating girls at that point. Then came the day that my mom asked me if I was a lesbian. I figured I would soften the blow and just say I was bi and i got slapped in the face and told I was only that way because my friend was. We never spoke of it again. I decided maybe she was right and I started being with guys, but I never really felt happy. I had my 2nd kid and was going to marry his father, even though I wasn't faithful to him because I would go to the gay bars and meet up with women. He broke it off, and I was happy. I started dating women again, and met a wonderful woman. I never told my parents I was with her in a relationship, but they would watch my kids so I could go to the movies, hang out with her, and she was even at my sons sporting things. We didn't work out, but my parents watched my kids when I dated another girl that lived an hour away, that I called a friend". I want to come out to my parents, but I don't know how to cause I'm afraid they are going to slap me or even call me a horrible parent. I for once in my life feel like I fit in. Can someone help me out with how to do this? I'm 30 and I just want it to finally be in the open
I think you need to reconsider letting your parents watch your kids. That kind of homophobia is easily transferable to young brains. They may also use it as an "in", if they are going to call you a horrible parent, to legally go after custody ("we watch them all the time, our house is their home") If possible, you need to move far far away from them. Take your kids with you. You don't have to tell them a thing about your sexuality - you already told them once, and you know the truth - they're not "right". Go be with people who love you for you.
They don't watch my kids all the time, just my oldest once in awhile when my youngest is at his dads (which my youngest sons dad knows about me and has no problem, he would rather me just be happy) so they could never say I was an unfit parent to anyone that could change my custody of my kids. I wouldn't call my parents homophobic either cause they adore my best friends that are gay, its more of them being homophobic about me
Hey, perhaps you could consider writing a letter to help you come out to your parents, you should put in it all of the stuff that you have told us at the start of the thread, perhaps you should get some information from PFLAG. It is probably not going to be a smooth ride but there is no reason that in time they wont come round. It is important that you explain to them that you didnt choose to like girls but its how you are and its how you going to live your life because anything else would be a lie, but that you really hope that they can still be a part of your life.
