So I really want to talk to my four closest best friends about my sexuality but I'm not really sure how to talk to them about it. I'm positive they will all be 100% supportive, but I'm confused about what exactly I am. I'm not really sure If I'm straight, bi, or a lesbian and I don't want to put a label on myself until I'm sure. Anyhoo, I just want to sort of talk over my feelings with one of them and I don't really know how to do it without "coming out" since so far I have nothing to come out about. It's just really frustrating keeping this all to myself. But sometimes I tell myself I'll talk to one of them, and then I don't because I rationalize; I tell myself that I am for sure straight (which is probably not true) and I shouldn't bother. Also, one of them just came out as bi, and I don't want to steal her thunder or anything. Any ideas? Is over facebook bad? How do I suppress my denial and get up the courage to talk to one of them?
Facebook is just terrible in general. You can show them this very post to let them know how you feel. Just open this page on a computer, call one of them to come over and look at the screen, walk away for a few minutes, come back into the room, and discuss.
I went through the same thing, except I waited for way too long and lost a lot of good help. I started by asking a person about any relationship he was in, they he talked for a while but when he asked me I just responded with, "I'm just really not sure about a couple things right now..." Then I started to elaborate. It turned into a two hour conversation and he really helped me. Just him saying "No matter what you are you are still Jake and you are still my friend." I can't say that is how they will respond but if they are really your friends they will help you through this this and help you find yourself. Oh, and don't worry about "stealing anyone's thunder," this is not a competition, this is life and we all need to be who we are.
Perhaps you could talk to the friend who has already come out as bi? If you want to talk over your feelings she is probably in a better position to any of your friends to be able to empathise with how you feel right now or at least be open minded/educated about the complexities of sexual orientation. If you are genuinely worried about being seen to steal her thunder then talking to her first might alleviate any issues you're worried about, nobody is going to talk of thunder stealing if she herself is understanding about it. If you you are afraid to approach the subject full on maybe just start by saying you're happy that she feels comfortable to come out to your group of friends, how great it is she can be herself. You don't have to come out and say "I am this" or "I'm not that" but you could express to her that "there are times I've wondered about my own sexuality" or something similar. You're not telling her something concrete, you're sharing a part of your personal development with her, in time you may come to a clearer conclusion as to how you define your sexuality, but whether that be straight/gay/bi or something else what you will have shared with your friends won't have been inaccurate. As to how to tell people I'd generally avoid using fb for these kind of conversations, simply because things can be misconstrued. Good luck
