I could possibly be the most confused human being on planet earth. So I had come to the conclusion I was bisexual. Why? Because although I am emotionally and sexually attracted to women I was heavily sexually attracted to men as well (maybe even more intense toward men). So I have been going about my business and exploring my bisexuality throughout the past couple months. I realized that I am not really emotionally attracted to men, although I didn't rule it out if I were to meet the right guy. Anyway long story short my main drive for men was the sexual aspect in a lot of ways. Well... I have had some hookups and I was very much into them but I am seeing a trend and it's opposite of what I thought. I am seemingly becoming less sexually attracted to men. At first the thought of it sent me over the moon and now it's just really fading. It has nothing to do with acceptance because I had already accepted it and like was convinced I would be living this lifestyle. Without going into detail I just recently had a hookup with a guy who is cool and hot and I had been waiting to have an encounter with and guess what.... when it came time I really just wasn't into it. It wasn't like he was turning me off, still found him super attractive and I was not like in the wrong mood it just wasn't appealing (fyi the scenario was super hot, like normally I would have thought I would have bee revved to go) -- in the way I would assume it wouldn't be appealing to straight men. Is this weird? I am literally regressing. I am beginning to wonder if it was like a phase, like a kink or a fetish that I wanted to give a try and have fun with and now its fading? I don't know I am so confused. Has anyone else experienced this and could maybe relate give advice etc? I am a loss for words -- it's like my body just wont make up it's mind.
I think sexuality is pretty much something that is in flux. It's not set in stone, it fluctuates. And I think this is especially true for bisexuals and pansexuals. So I don't think it's weird at all. Just my thoughts.
As one is processing sexual identity, it gets very difficult in the early stages because so much is going on behind the scenes, in the unconscious. As much as you may consciously be fine with it, unconscious may feel differently, and that can influence how you react in intimate situations. In a similar vein, you can feel a strong attraction to someone's physical appearance, but if you don't feel an attraction to their personality and emotional self, the sex can be downright terrible. So I don't think you should draw any definitive conclusions at this point. I'd encourage you to simply be open. See where your attractions take you, explore different opportunities, and just let nature take its course. It's possible you are completely bisexual and are simply attracted to people's spirit or personality and not to their sex at all... but it's also possible that your mind is just messing with you because it isn't fully comfortable at an unconscious level with how you are currently identifying yourself. Time will tell and... there's no rush
