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The pain of being single at age 23, and as Valentines' approaches

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jsmurf, Feb 11, 2012.

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  1. jsmurf

    jsmurf
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    Feels so horrible.

    To make matters worse, someone I've cared about for several months (though never met) has his birthday on Valentine's.


    I was in an "internet relationship" with a 19 year old college student from Russia for nearly a year, until we "broke up" a few months ago. Wasn't really a committed relationship.. but I thought so at the time...we'd extend warm words to each other regularly, talking about how we'd one day be together, sharing details from our daily life and struggles, sometimes also frolicking with dirty sex talk and the like. Recently I found out that he's headed to Boston in Autumn on an exchange program, and it only makes me more depressed to think that our connection didn't drag out until then, when we could have more realistically finally met up. So would I be able to be in a romantic relationship with that guy? Hmm, that's the best evidence I have thus far, but I'm still uncertain. Because it was, after all, only an "internet relationship."

    But in some ways more than that, because he still appears in my dreams occasionally, and I continually grieve to think that our friendship was so sorely cut, just when it became known that he'd be several thousand miles closer to me..


    :bang::rolle:
     
    #1 jsmurf, Feb 11, 2012
  2. Kernel Panic

    Kernel Panic
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    hello jsmurf,
    am not able to talk about the friendship side of it,but do want to say...
    as hard as it may be,try and remember what valentines day is,it wasnt created by people with boyfriends/girlfriends to show love,it was soley created by the card industry to make money.
    valentines day has been aimed at everyone and not just couples for a long while from what have seen -pets,family etc so ifreally wanted to get involved coud always show someone else that love them,go for a dinner or do something nice,or get the pet a really special dinner.

    its only a silly commercial tradition, and it shoud be ignored by everyone really as a middle finger to the card industry as people who love others shoudnt have to show it in a special way on a day set by others,there shoudnt be a date put on showing care and/or love to others.
     
    #2 Kernel Panic, Feb 11, 2012
  3. insidehappy

    insidehappy
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    hi papa smurf,

    im sorry it did not work out. but i think at this time, its good to focus on what lies ahead of you and not what is behind. i would encourage you to look for relationships that have have an "offline" focus. yes, you can meet people on dating sites, etc. but it shoudl be a situation where you can develoip your relationship and get to know them offline. focus on creating the reality you would like which would be to date someone in your local area that is gay.

    yes valentines day can be really lonely. i will be alone for valentines day as well. and i have tried not to think about it but it is what it is. all you can do is do something nice for yourself or hang with friends on that day so you wont feel as bad. but just know that the person that you will meet and that is supposed to be for you is probably thinking the same thing.

    i truly believe that there's got to be someone great out there in store for each and every one of us, if you're wanting a relatinship, theres someoen else out there that wants the same. and it is my hope that you connect with your ideal match. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 insidehappy, Feb 11, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2012
  4. aerwolfen

    aerwolfen
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    No matter what anyone really says it still doesn't take the vsting of being alone on any holiday for that matter,but your young and vibrant ,you will meet someone one day and that person will be the lukiest guy in town by far, so keep that in mind and try not to dwell on the negative side more on the positive side,your now out and free ,take pride walk with your head up high,I mean the one on your shoulders silly,lol, your strong and you will meet someone great have faith in yourself,I do.
     
    #4 aerwolfen, Feb 11, 2012
  5. ukeye

    ukeye Guest

    Yeah - awesome posts here.. I'm 25 and in the same boat my friend.. But as Kernel Panic and others suggested.. it is just another day made up to make money.. Its still valid to feel a bit sad though, but its not worth dwelling on.

    Internet relationships.. they can serve a purpose, but really it still has a 'smoke and mirrors' element to it.. Finding someone offline you can connect with will be a richer and more fulfilling experience. Twenties is a time when everyone is working it out, so rest assured it will all get clearer as wisdom develops.. theres years ahead to find someone, its no race so don't sweat it :slight_smile:
     
    #5 ukeye, Feb 11, 2012
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