I'm so confused. I really want to come out to someone, because I'm sick of keeping my sexuality a secret. But I'm terrified. I feel like I need to come out to someone, but anytime I try to talk about it, I just freeze up. It's getting so frustrating, but I can't bring myself to do it. I really need help with this. I know my friends are supportive of the LGBT community, but I still can't bring myself to say anything.
I went through this exact same thing, and I'm also the same age as you. It took me about a year and a half to tell anyone. I had so many chances to tell people, and I just said, oh, i like this guy, but I liked some girl way more. After that, some days, like you're saying, when my friends would ask me who i liked I froze up, literally not speaking, and said i'll tell you later when i found my voice again. My pathetic first way of coming out was my friend was trying to guess who I liked, and after many guesses, asked if I liked a girl. I just shook my head. I get exactly how you feel. Do your friends ever ask who you like? If they do, you can always give them hints. Like, oh it's not who you'd expect, i don't know what you'd think of me (even though you say they are supportive), and stuff like that. I think it depends on the situation to. It's best to tell one person first, because you get used to saying the words and someone else knowing. I can't give you exact advice, i wish I could, but you need to get the courage to do it. Push yourself into it. Because it may be the only way you'll tell anyone. I know the words are so hard to get out of your mouth, but all I can say is try. Because I'm not you, and I can't force you to. I wish you the best of luck.
Hi, welcome to Empty Closets! Being unable to force the words out is pretty standard for people coming out no matter what age they are. I struggled with the same thing, and I was nearly thirty. So don't feel bad about it. I agree completely that it's best to choose one person to confide in first. Do you have a phone? If you can't force the words out, you can send a text message or something, perhaps. Just pick one person to tell. It's definitely better for you psychologically to share it with someone rather than keeping it a complete secret. Overall, though, you don't have to be in a big hurry to come out: you should go at the pace that's right for you, and it's different for everyone. As an aside, I'm a writing tutor, and I've worked with many adult students who do not write as coherently or correctly as either of you. Congratulations on that, and also thanks for bothering.
