Bi girls/lesbians who used to like guys, can you help me!?

Well after about a year and a half of realizing my sexuality, i at first was bi-curious, then thought i was gay, and then bisexual, but I am way more attracted to girls then i am guys. I feel unsure if I could really be in a relationship with a guy. I do understand how you feel, with your changing status on the kinsey scale. I think that if there is a particular girl you are interested in, and she is gay/bisexual, you should try to see how you feel. Or you should meet other girls of your sexuality. Good luck

 

It's unlikely that your orientation would actually change. It's much more likely that, as you allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings toward women, you might realize that you feelings for men were never very strong in the first place. A lot of people have that experience.

 

This is very true, also as other people have said sometimes people who identify as being bisexual find that sometimes they are more drawn to guys and other times girls so you might find it swings back or it might not.

 

What you have to remember is that placement on the Kinsey scale is entirely up to you. I took countless online quizzes, trying to evaluate my feelings on an internet guide that some random guy came up with in his spare time. And basically, the questions boiled down to "are you attracted to girls and not guys?"

And that was the hardest question to answer. There is no simple "yes" or "no" when you're questioning yourself. We look up definitions of the word "gay", we ask what it means to be "gay", we look up statistics and take tests and watch porn and look at strangers in public. But everyone knows what being gay means. There's no trick. If you're gay, it's only a matter of time before you figure it out. Sometimes it will be quick, like how it was for me. Officially, this whole process took less than a year. But for others, it may take a few decades.

This seems unrelated, but what I'm trying to say is that this is a process. Two years ago, I was convinced that I was straight. One year ago, I was convinced that I was bisexual. And now, I know I'm gay. What made me realize I wasn't bi was almost a decision of sorts--of course, I didn't choose to be gay, but I did decide that I just do not want to be in a relationship with a guy. It doesn't feel right. I can kiss a guy, I can fool around, but just because I am capable of doing that without, idk, vomiting or something, does not mean I am bisexual. That's why this is so tricky-- at first, lots of gay people say they're bi because they've been attracted to the opposite gender before. But honestly, how can ANYONE go through life without ever being attracted to the "wrong" gender? Sexuality just doesn't make any sense sometimes.

So the important thing when figuring out orientation is not evaluating your capability of being attracted to a certain sex, but more like the preference of one gender over the other. Unless you're actually bisexual, which means you obviously can't make that decision. And you may be bisexual-- or you may one day get sick of pretending you love your boyfriend the same way he loves you. That's what happened to me, anyway.

 

Good to hear you have discovered your sexuality! I have been bisexual for a while and just recently started coming out to my friends. I understand your situation because I have the same problem! My sexual attraction toward women is greater than my attraction for boys. Same for the emotional attraction. I tried dating another boy but I broke up with him after 2 weeks because I needed a break from men. I still have an attraction toward men, so I know I'm not a lesbian. But I guess my general preference is women. Wait it out, date another woman, etc. Hope you figure it out, you're not alone on this one!