How do you deal with a straight crush?

All of my girl crushes have been straight, so I'm learning to deal with it. I just try to concentrate on friends and wait. Time for me is the best cure. Ignoring them doesn't work for me, because any time they talk to me my heart just falls harder. I think it's best to wait for the feelings to subside.

 

I just think about how someone should be able to love me back :king:

 

It's happened to me at times, you just have to let it pass, however long it is. Ultimately, it's no different than if you like someone who's gay who really doesn't like you back in that way.

 

I have 2 major crushes atm, both of course are straight (just my luck). They are very close friends of mine, both who i spend copious amounts of time with (one of the reasons i feel i developed the crush). Because of that, I obviously cant tell them about this crush and it makes it harder for me to come out, fearing they may see how i see them.

For me, i just focus on the fact that i could either act on the crush by telling them, which would result in probally losing them as friends all together. Or, just remain the close friends that we are. Remaining friends is good enough for me till i meet Mr Right

 

for me, it just took time. 9 months, actually. and then winter break came, when it was already starting to fade, and i spent three weeks away from her, and i came back and she had dyed half of her beautiful hair an ugly orange/pink color. and that was it.

i don't think there's anything you can really do. no technique, no formula...just time. and maybe they'll help you along by dying their hair an ugly color. XD

...not to say that i stopped liking her just because she changed her appearance--like i said, it was already pretty much faded, and that just finalized it. lol

 

finding their weaknesses and using those as excuse lol

other than that
the things you did,waiting etc and emotional distance like you have this thing with someone (e.g. me,I thought I had) and then not anymore (at least not trying to act on it or to even notice it,in time Im feeling less troubled by my feelings,doubt that's healthy but whatsoever)

 

crushes are kinda like fantasies. they are "ideal". therefore, in some ways you never really get over the "ideal" fantasy you created for yourself. but there are somethings you can do.

1. distance: if you in constant communication with the crush, you may want to distance yourself so you do not blur the lines.

2: confront: does the crush know you like him/her. are you playing this out in your head over and over again? sometimes the best way to get over it is to address it with teh crush so you will no longer have this "what if" guessing game. the only problem is, when the crush rejects you, you still feel bad and it doesn't make you like them any less.

3. dating someone new: find someone that is available to you and that you can date. receiving love back from someone else feels good and makes you realize that although the crush was seemingly ideal, you never got anything back from them and it sucked. now you're with someone else that you cna express yourself with and that expresses himself/herself back with you.

4. reality check: realize that the crush is not or was not perfect and that if this person liked you, they would have likely showed you signs by now.

 

I wish I had a crush removal pill. It sucks, I'm going through it right now. It's like I swallowed a bunch of razor blades. It hurts And I can't just stop myself from liking her.

 

Masturbate and cry.



Preferably not at the same time.

 

Ive got a straight crush right now too and its hard as hell to get rid of! I keep taking insignificant actions from him and thinking that means he is gay/bi, but deep down they dont mean a thing and i know he is straight.

 

I am completely in love with a straight guy... It sucks so bad, I don't want anyone else. Have talked about it with him several times and he has assured me he is not gay, but I still can't accept it.

 

It is for what it is and I can accept that. I don't want to hurt for it but there isnt much I can do. I know a lot of the pain is just my loneliness playing tricks on me.

I guess I just...let it be. I'm sure I'll move on eventually. If not, then, at least, I'll have a tragic love story to write about one day and maybe get me an Oscar!

 

I wish I had a satisfying answer for you, Dewthulu, but to be honest I haven't found one yet. I developed a serious crush (in fact, I would call it more than a crush...being 'in love' is more accurate) on a straight guy over the last two years...the worst part is that he is my best friend. So the typical advice about distance and time doesn't exactly work, unless I want to quit our friendship altogether, which would be equally painful. It's hard to forget about him when he's calling all the time, just to shoot the bull and talk about normal friend things! :eusa_doh:

I think it would be tremendously helpful, from my own emotional perspective, to tell him how I feel. Even if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, at least I'll have them off my chest. He knows I'm gay and is fully supportive of me, but I don't want to risk jeopardizing the friendship by making him feel awkward. For the time being, it's simply a burden I have to bear. Some parts of life are just hard, and there's no way around them. But it's also true that life is full of changing seasons, and this season too will pass eventually, if that's any solace.

One thing that helped me, in lieu of talking to my crush himself, is sharing my struggle with another gay friend. Based on how frequently it appears on these message boards, problematic 'straight crushes' are a common dilemma among LGBT folks. So it can be mutually cathartic to open up and spill your thoughts to a sympathetic ear. One caveat...probably best if your crush and confidant aren't in the same social circle, otherwise the latter will probably feel like they're holding back secrets on your behalf.

 

I am so in love with a straight friend... he so funny, nice, laid-back, cute, and just so fun to be around...he's so perfect. He's one of those guys that everyone likes. He can approach a crowd of complete strangers and everyone will want to be friends with him because he's so awesome.
All I want to do is be around him...it's the only thing I can look forward to doing anymore, but then I'm depressed because I know I can never have him.

I think what I might have to do is just force myself to not be around him anymore, and just let time help me forget my feelings.. but I don't think I'll be getting over him any time soon.

 

My problem is with the "straight"... not knowing if he's really straight or closeted is pretty much what makes it so frustrating.

 

I have developed a mechanism that allows me to see straight guys as friends. But what I did back then is to wait for the feelings to subside. And always remember this, why fall in love with a guy that can't love you back while you can find someone who can love you back?

 

crushes are crushes and in my experience in time will fade. Some worth while methods I use include but are not limited to
1) scrutinizing your crush with such intensity as to pick out every flaw in look and character until your infatuation stops
2) reducing communication and contact until feelings calm
3) re-itterating over and over the fact that "they are straight or at best so far in the closet they have found Narnia and all pursuing will get you is a huge mess and a ruined friendship"
4) go looking for something better and focus on it
5) lots and lots of masturbating as to… preoccupy yourself

---------- Post added 26th Dec 2012 at 03:06 AM ----------

6) develop terrible horror stories as to how the outcome will be if feelings are pursued or mentioned

or

7) express your feelings and deal with the outcome

 

I've stopped talking to my best friend as much lately. I've made a decision that I need to just move on.

 

usually what I do is try and let it subside. talking to that person sometimes makes it worse, so I'd say to try and keep your distance to try and keep it from getting worse. I know that this may sound weird, but becoming friends with them sometimes makes things better (if you're not friends with them already) or talking about things you don't agree on. (I know this sounds even weirder). I used to have a crush on my best friend, but then we got into a heated argument about his own opinions and he totally put me down and it made me upset and annoyed at him- so basically whatever you can do to not ruin the friendship but do something that can maybe make YOU get rid of the crush. But yeah, moving on is good too.