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Is this a bad thing for me to do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sam, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. Sam

    Sam
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    So first I'd like to say whether this is bad or not, I'm still going to do it.

    Those that have been here a while might have heard about my cousin who disowned me and pretends I don't exist all because I'm gay well anyway being the "wonderful" cousin he is, he called everybody and invited them to a dinner that he is having on Saturday minus me of course. He wouldn't dare call me or invite me to anything that includes him, he hasn't spoken to me in a long time and avoids me if I'm around him.

    So my mom told me about this dinner he's having Saturday and she told me "If I were you I would just show up" and I agree because most of my family accepts me and I even have an aunt who would stand up for me if he said anything which he won't because of the rest of the family.

    So my question is: Is it a bad thing for me to just show up uninvited and piss him off?

    Also I want to go because I want to see the rest of my family and not just to see the look on his face (which is a nice bonus!):roflmao:
     
  2. biisme

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    i think you should go. it might piss him off, but it also kinda sounds like he's trying to piss you off. maybe if you go he'll realize that he misses you...or maybe you're family will stand up for you and he'll realize the error of his ways....

    anyway. GO!
     
  3. Sam

    Sam
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    Don't think so he awkwardly invited me to his house for 4th of July but it was a last minute invitation and it sounded forced like somebody made him fill obligated. He didn't act like he missed me then and I don't think anything has changed in 5 months. He said we are having a 4th of July thing over here if you want to come *click* no bye no see you then, nothing and when I showed up he had a look on his face that said don't come near me I don't want anything to do with you and he didn't say anything to me.

    But I'm going and I think its going to be fun to piss him off I just dare him to say something!
     
  4. biisme

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    well, i say go for it. but, then again, i think it's fun to piss people off sometimes, so maybe you should ask a more rational person...

    i think you should go and start an in-depth conversation with a family member about how being gay is how you're born and say all these statistics and stuff and see if maybe he won't listen........or piss him off some more...
     
  5. Jim1454

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    Just how big is the gathering? Are you going to be one more out of 30? or one more out of 5? It's a little rude to show up and through off the numbers, but if he's having a crowd of people over, then you might as well go.

    When my family has a get together, it's pretty much assumed that if my cousins or one of my uncles invite my parents, then the invitation is also extended to my sister and I.
     
  6. Sam

    Sam
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    Its going to be maybe 15 people there is no definite number basically my aunts, uncles and cousins. He definitely doesn't intend for me to be there. He "doesn't approve of my choice" he doesn't want me there but like I said I'm going so he can deal with it.

    And blisme I have to tell you that I'm one of those people who sometimes like to piss people off too especially if they are like my cousin so I'm definitely going and nothings going to change that, the only reason I posted this thread was to see what people have to say about it, nothings going to stop me from going I can't wait to see his face!
     
  7. biisme

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    i think we are kindred souls. IIIII would love to see his face. be sure to tell us about it.
     
  8. lodiug

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    Go go go!!
     
  9. pirateninja

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    Don't make it seem as if you're going to piss him off. If he says anything, just say "Look, I came to see the rest of the family, if you want to ignore me go ahead". It basically is the kind of "I don't want to cause trouble" approach, and if he retaliates badly to that, just be the bigger person.
     
  10. panda

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    I hate to rain on this parade of self-righteousness.It's your cousin's get together.He invites who he chooses to invite.You were not invited.Your cousin does not approve of the GLBT life.Your going really doesn't accomplish very much other than to " See the look on his face" I feel a lot of anger.In the long run,"pissing someone off" won't really make you feel better. By going uninvited you are lowering yourself to his level.
    Only my opinion.
     
  11. Ty

    Ty Guest

    Well, me personally, I would go, cause im the kinda person who would like to spite people for little stuff like that (well not so little, he disowned you!) so yeah..
    You should just go there and start talking about your girlfriends and stuff like that.
    Atleast thats what i would doooooooo....
     
  12. Astaroth

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    Well, according to proper etiquette (not that any of us follow that!), you should not attend a party unless you're invited personally or by default (as in a child of the attendee). He clearly doesn't want you at the party if he didn't invite you. As much as I hate to say it, the party is his. However, there's another option for you. Why don't you host your own party another day? In fact, the fabulous thing to do would be to send him an invitation to your party! Why?

    1. He would feel like a little shit if you invited him and he didn't invite you.
    2. If he showed up, it might be a sign that he's coming around (or if you feel spiteful, now's the time to bring up touchy subjects since you are the host this time)
    3. If he doesn't show up, then you're the bigger person in the end because you were doubly polite and he was rude twice.

    But it's up to you (and as you stated, you're already going anyway). I just think having your own party would be the classy way of saying eff you. :icon_bigg
     
  13. lodiug

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    I like the way you think!:eusa_clap
     
  14. Owen

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    I agree with Astaroth. Going just to spite him is rude, and you'll be the bigger person if you don't go. If the party were huge, it wouldn't be the bad to go, but if only 15 people will be there, he'll notice and tell you to leave and not give up until you do.
     
  15. Sam

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    Well all my aunts, uncles, and cousins were invited and my mom has 7 siblings and so that equals a lot of people and this includes my parents and little brother too so I think I should go I am honestly not going to cause trouble and I will avoid him. Like I said its a nice bonus to see the look on his face but honestly I want to go to see my family I don't get to see my aunts, uncles, or cousins very much so I want to take this opportunity to see them.

    So I appreciate everybodys response but I want to do this (and panda I really am going so that I can see my family not just to see his face) and if he has the nerve to invite everybody in my family except me (INCLUDING MY OWN PARENTS AND BROTHER!!!) then I see no problem with me showing up.

    Also he won't tell me to leave because he wouldn't make a scene in front of everybody else and my family wouldn't let him do it.

    And according to etiquette since my parents are going then I should be able to go
     
    #15 Sam, Dec 28, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2007
  16. Owen

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    Wait, he invited your parents and you brother? :eek: I take back what I said. Go. If you were younger and it was "adults only", then he'd have an excuse, but what he did is just unexcusable.
     
  17. panda

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    Panda says (sheepishly) "OK":icon_redf .
     
  18. CrimsonThunder

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    No you shouldn't go because thats rude to show up uninvited no matter the circumstances. And you WANT to piss him off.

    So theres no denying that.

    Not that I stick by what I say, I show up to un-invited parties all the time. >_> And then I throw up on stuff. XD
     
  19. Sam

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    LOL!!! Panda I wasn't trying to make you feel badly I was just telling you I'm not going JUST to piss him off that is only maybe 1% of the reason I'm going the other 99% of me wants to go to see my family.

    I do realize that I am being rude for showing up uninvited but wasn't he rude for lecturing me and telling me that being gay is a choice and that I will have an unfulfilling and lonely life? I will be respectful of him (besides showing up uninvited) unlike how he was to me.

    For those who weren't around when I posted this:

    Take a look at this thread about him (later he changed his mind about accepting me, see the last post I have about it)

    http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1264
     
  20. CrimsonThunder

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    Whos right there, you or him?

    You are. Hes wrong. Do you want to be just as bad as him by pissing him off.