so while i was away visiting family and old friend back in my home town these holidays, i met up with my best friend from school. i came out to her middle of last year and at first she didnt talk to me for a few weeks then she said she was ok with it. when we met up, she asked if i was gay or bi? and i said gay, and that there was no chance of me dating a guy now. and as my best friend i thought i would share with her my first gay kiss, but the look of disgust on her face was unbelievable. and she was like, ur my friend and as a christian im supose to love you, which i do, but you being gay is still wrong. :O But thats not all, then she asked about my religion change from Christianity to Islam, and i said that i had become open minded and read alot and that there are similarities between them, but did she get defensive! and started ranting about Muslims and stuff and i got really angry because my on/off gf is Muslim and i was defending her. but since that day she hasnt spoken to me, and i dOnt kno what to do... so that was friend one, now for friend two: If u have read some of my other posts you will know that i have this guy friend that im very close to, im like his best friend, he is the male version of me, in every way,we just connect but yesterday, my gf and i went facebook official with our relationship, we go back together again last week. but when he saw it he just went mad, and texted me this angry message about why im with her again, and she dumped me last time (which he actually caused) and how do i know she wont do it again, and why dont i give him a shot (hes crazy about me, even though he knows im gay) and that id be happier with him. i was WOAW! :O I was so mad at him, how can he say that about her, yeah i get that he is jealous, and just said those thing emotionally, but still! i was shocked. and now im scared that history is gonna repeat itself with me inbetwee these two ppl. i Love my girlfriend, she means the world to me, but i dont want him to get in between us again. and i cant just tell him to get lost because it will break him, nd im not a mean person, it will throw him over the edge. Im up a creek without a paddle as my mom would say... any advice?? please??
For the first friend, I say she was never really your friend if she is going to treat you that way, it is not christian-like and especially as your friend it is wrong of her! Maybe back off with your orientation and religion for a while and let her cope her own way, if she doesn't come to terms with it, then move on because that is a poisonous relationship. For your second friend, sit down with him and talk through his feelings for you and his feelings of jealousy, and anger. and just explain to him how much this girl means to you and that it would hurt you really bad if he came between y'all, and if he really loves you as a friend or even more then he will cherish your happiness and respect your wishes. sorry I don't have any better advice, and that you are in such a pickle with your friends (especially the second friend!) I hope everything works out and that he understands things from your perspective, saying your a nice person i am sure you will have no problem working with him on this, best of luck! (*hug*)
I am sorry you have to go though that (*hug*) I hope everything turns out well. I agree with EvangelinesLost, that first relationship is not a good one. Some people have been brought up to think that being gay is unnatural and wrong, and they may need some time to accept it and unfortunately it may take a while. You can be understanding and compassionate, but you are by no means required to stay in a friendship that is not good for youself. Maybe one day she will realize that she made a mistake, but in the mean time there are a lot of people out there who would love and accept you. As for the second friend, talking to him would be a good idea and be firm about you being gay. You can't force yourself to like a guy and it would be unfair for the both of you to do that. I can tell that you don't like to cause anyone any distress or hurt, but you will need to protect yourself as well. He needs to accept that there isn't a chance between you and him, and if he can't try to get that then he won't have you at all. (on a side note, if you were not gay and going out with another guy you love, and he tries to break you up and say you should go out with him instead. What would your reaction be? That kind of behaviour is unacceptable and frankly very immature in straight relationships and it shouldn't be any different in a gay relationship) I hope it helps. You sound like a wonderful person. Don't let other people get you down.
Thanks so much for the advice guys means alot. I'm gonna back off from friend 1 and see how it plays out. Gonna lay down the line for friend 2 tomorrow, dont know how it will go because when I came out to him, he broke down in tears, but he has an unpredictable emotional state and a tendancy of violence, my gf is even scared of him.I just hope he gets the msg, because now that my gf has changed Uni's he is going to take it as an opportunity to be in my face more with her not around. Like seriously those two have screamed at each other over me.
