When i was younger, i was a really big tomboy. It was of the influence of my brother, i always played with stuff he was doing, and dressed somewhat girlish but somewhat guyish. Now at 13, I've changed a lot. I don't dress extremely girly, but definitely not anywhere near tomboyish. Give you an example: i'm wearing skinny jeans, uggs, a tank top, and a northface. That's an average style for me. Anyways, since my friends were completely shocked at my sexuality, i'm guessing it isn't apparent to anyone that i'm bisexual. I even tried to give my friends "hints" that i guess they didn't pick up on, well one may have, i'm not sure. So, anyone who doesn't know me extremely well wouldn't have any clue i am, unless they have an amazing gaydar. Since I still haven't made my point clear, how do I give off the gay vibe, so people (others possibly in the closet) may get it? I don't really know how to come out to the whole school right now, since I'm still in middle school and no one else is out. I would like to know others who are gay/bisexual, but I don't see that happening unless they approach me first. To do so, they'd have to know of my sexuality. I don't want to change my style much, or scream "hey, i'm bisexual" to the whole school. What else can I do otherwise? Sorry if I make absolutely no sense, it's kind of late.
just be you. when i want people to take the hint i wear a pride bracelet. there is bi pride but a lot of people dont know wht it is, including bi people haha so i wear a gay pride bracelet when I'm looking for other gay/bi people to notice me...its a subtle hint and some straight people will notice it too and know what it is too.
Don't think I can give much better advice than what Bi Since Birth gave, simply because I have been at a loss myself, but BSB's advice seems, while simple, amazingly effective. And based on his age, I think he has more experience with this than both of us combined hahah :eusa_clap
Haha i guess that's a good point. Although I think to tip people off I'd have to get one that specifically saying pride. I've worn rainbow bracelets, mixed with others, before, because I occasionally wear jewelry. No one seemed to notice much.
I don't want this to sound like I'm talking down to you because of your age or that I'm in anyway doubting what you say you are, just putting that out there. That being said, I think that a problem that you may have, at least now, is that, like you said, you are only in middle school. Most kids will probably think nothing of it, or they'll be dealing with their own hormonal issues to much to notice stuff like that. If you were to do what you're doing now in High School, I'm sure more people would notice (though you'd still have to worry about them being to scared to come out of the closet themselves, I know I was)
Yeah, i guess people are too busy worrying about themselves to notice much around them. I'm just thinking other people in the closet would be more observant of it. But you sort of are right, I mean even if I though someone was gay, I'd be scared to say anything to them about it. Well unless I was hyped up on a hell of a lot of coffee, and had a bit more courage haha.
I don't want to sour you on other people, so I thought I'd reiterate: if they are closeted, given the age, they could be afraid that you aren't gay/bi and just like the bracelet, or that someone might overhear them, or that you're not good with secrets or etc etc....give it a couple years and it shouldn't be as difficult as it is now
Wearing a pride bracelet is also much more effective for boys than for girls. Girls sometimes just like rainbows. I wear rainbow jewelry frequently. No one ever comments on it unless they already know I'm gay. If you don't want to blatantly come out, you can get gay-friendly and gay-supportive stuff to wear or display, rather than stuff that necessarily says you are bisexual yourself. You should realize, though, that many people have not realized their sexuality yet at your age, so they can't possibly come tell you about it. I wish I could give you better advice for how to be visible while still being yourself. Unfortunately, I have yet to master that myself. I can go to gay-themed events as part of a lesbian-identified organization, and still have everyone assume I'm straight.
You could TRY wearing a rainbow hairband or something even though what Ianthe said is true. Also say things like "DAMN SHE HAS NICE BOOBS! I WOULD SURE LIKE TO TOUCH HER IN A SEXUAL WAY."
Ha ha, that's hilarious! :roflmao: SecretgirlX - You could have a look at what typical lesbians wear on Google or in movies (like the L Word) and try get inspiration from that. You could wear one item of clothing or one type of jewelry or accessory that lesbians will typically wear rather than the full "lesbian look" (whatever that is!) as I'm assuming you don't what it blatantly obvious! Experiment and see what reactions you get, if any.:icon_wink
Ahhhh I've seriously been trying to figure out how to do this for MONTHS now. A rainbow bracelet is about the only "totem" (as my friend and I call it) that I've been able to come up with... well, also a shirt from the Human Rights Campaign, but many people still simply assume that I'm an ally or something. Do you care if other people in school find out that you're bi? That might affect how obvious you want to try to make it. Good luck!!
Just look in lgbt targeted fashion magazines, and see what's in style. Lesbian Style - Art, Fashion, Gadgets & Gifts, Auto and Cars That's the easiest approach, anyway. Not the cheapest.
I just wear a rainbow bracelet. There are other ways to let other lesbians know you're gay. The best way is body language, believe it or not. Anything else can be explained as coincidence. There are allies that wear rainbow stuff too and they're just supportive of the gay community, but still completely straight. If you like a girl, give her a smile and make eye contact. Also, be direct. As a girl, you will know that girls tend to over-think and rationalize away or deflect advances if they're not direct. There are some distinctive hairstyles you can try too. Or you could just walk around in a "Lebanese" shirt or something. lol
I just wear a lot of rainbows, and I mean A LOT! I have a rainbow hat. Rainbow gloves and a rainbow scarf. I also have a rainbow pin on my backpack. And I wear rainbow bracelets occasionally. ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2012 at 02:27 PM ---------- Oh also I have a shirt that says THE GAYDAR GAME and has lesbian checked underneath. Also have a shirt that says 'scary lesbian' with a rainbow ghost
wow thats a lot of rainbows! I thought I was excessive with a studded rainbow belt and a pride wrist sweatband
Hmm, well that's definitely a subtle way to go about it. :roflmao: I guess rainbows are the best way to go then!
I think if you want to be subtle then rainbows and smiles are the best way forward, those that are looking out for signs will probably pick them up and those that havent thought about it wont notice, which is I guess what you are looking for.
