I dont want to be gay anymore :(

it always stings a little when people say things like that, even if it wasn't suppose to be directed at you, best advice i can come up with is try and ignore it if people wont change, usually i'd say a annoying "HEY" when people say it , kinda to say that's offensive, I also used to struggle with not understanding it, woman are very attractive and shiny hahah, but thats more of a objective view instead of emotions you don't get the same buzz what happend with me.. It just passed, i suppose these things take time, sorry i couldn't be more help

 

I'm a lesbian, but I get it. I mean, I recognize a hot guy when I see one too, just not interested in the same way as I am girls.
My father likes to make rude comments to reinforce the fact that he doesn't approve.
Thing is you like what you like, it's not bad, it's not your fault, and if you change to appease your family will you be happy?
Do they know how much it hurts you? You might try explaining it to them.
People don't always realize how much pain they are causing.

 

I think that there are numerous people on this site alone who are right there with you as far as having family members or people close to them dislike or downright hate what they are, often without those people even realizing that what they're saying is that hurtful. Or maybe they do, but whenever I think that may be the case, it makes me sad...

My BEST friend is incredibly homphobic....and everytime he hates on gays it really hurts....

No matter what the circumstances may be.....you need to be true to yourself, even if you might have to leave behind a lot of your life. Because if your life means not being able to be who you really are, then maybe you need to start over somewhere where you can be yourself. Obviously this is a rather drastic measure and if you can figure out a way to stay where you are while being who you are, then that would be the best case...though from personal experience it doesn't always work out that way

 

Hmm.. I have been following your posts a bit on here. It seems to me like your mum suspects you are gay but you aren't out. I think if you came out, she would be forced to accept it.. She probably thinks she is doing the right thing by you and trying to 'protect you'.. seems weird that she is so vocal about gays so often in your prescence anyway... why the hatred?

Shes your mum and odds are she will accept you, and then you don't have to hide yourself. Even those who are totally out as gay 'don't want to be gay anymore'.. the way society is creates all avenues for the denial process to kick in.. You talk about hot girls with your friend which tells me that you are in denial yourself.. the only way you can get past it is if you accept it and either a) disregard what your mums and sisters say and move away/start your own life or b) start standing up for yourself and begin accepting your sexuality by coming out to your family.

 

You feel the urge to feel guilty because of your family's insinuations with the exception of your dad 'cause I was basing on your statement(mom and sis) about being gay.

You are starting to suppress your feelings because of them.

My advice would be, don't label yourself right now as such, just be who you are and express what you feel.


Hope it helps.

 

Two broad points I'd make, and I know they don't seem to address your specifics, but they're points worth making. Being gay is like being what your height is. I could say that I didn't like being 5'6" (I actually don't mind, I've always been used to being one of the shortest boys or men around, and I'm known for talking about, short pride almost), but there'd be nothing I could do about it. I could wear platform shoes, but I couldn't change that height.

The second point is to try to focus on a future point. Most family and friends do come around to someone being gay, just seeing it as part of who they are, rather than an issue. It may take time, and it may be difficult, but it will be great when it does. Focus too on how great it would feel to have a boyfriend, to have meaningful relationships, or even just having fun with other men. Again, it may take time for you to be comfortable with that, but that day will come. You will have to make it better, but you can.

 

(*hug*)

 

It makes sense for you to feel this way. It's not exactly easy to be comfortable and happy about yourself when there's people constantly criticising you.

 

You definetly still want to be gay, the enviornment you're in just isnt accepting of what you want to be so you're taking that as a sign that you yourself need to change... Just look ahead to the future where eventually it's going to be more than okay to be who you are guilt free, its what I look forward to, because I can't come out to my family either

 

Oh, I would start putting the Glance on them when they did that. I would stay away from the Glare, though, until you're on firmer ground. You might be able to get away with the "Mmhmm" or the Cough, but I would definitely perfect the Glance first before trying anything too fancy.

In hopes that my BSing there has lightened the mood, dude: you can't change your family, and you can't change yourself at such an integral level as your sexuality. However, if your family has only one thing about you they don't like and it's honestly something trivial, that would make you better off than most people.

After I left the house, my heterosexual younger brother robbed my parents blind to support his drug habit and didn't leave until being given a choice by a judge between prison and rehab in Boone, and he still never does anything useful when he visits with my parents. He just gets himself snockered on their booze, and I think the only reason my parents put up with him is that they love his fiance to pieces. Although my parents are not exactly cool or super-supportive about my sexuality (although my mother does ask about my s.o. occasionally, bless her heart), I know that my sexuality is not the only thing there is about me in the eyes of my parents. They can see the WHOLE ME, and I work really hard now on trying to get along with them.

But you really have to be realistic on how far they are going to go in bending in regard to your sexuality. It's not going to be an overnight thing for them to even accept you, except maybe grudgingly. Getting over this hurdle in your life is something that is going to require understanding and toleration on your part.

I don't pretend it's fair. The way they are behaving is hideous, and I think they are very much in the wrong. You can't control what they do or what they think, though. You can only control YOU, and that's what I want you to start doing right now. Take your whole approach to life in YOUR hands. YOU be the power. Be that sharp-ass gay guy other queers wish they could be.

Good luck, my man, and I hope everything works out for you.

 

I've definitely felt the I-dont-want-to-be-gay-anymore feeling, and then would try to picture myself living a "straight" life and get depressed because I knew inside that it was impossible. It sometimes seems like two steps forward and one step back.. but at least I'm moving forward, and you are too, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
::hugs::

 

Accepting that you are gay can be really difficult when everywhere you go the general public calls you(or if you're not out yet then just the gays) "weird" or "gross" or even go as far as "vile, evil, sinful, unnatural" and "abominable" even if they are not directed at you it hurts to know that's how they feel and it always seemed to crawl deeper under my own skin to hear it come from my own family who are supposed to be the first people I can turn to for support. But being gay doesn't go away trust me I've searched fat and wide so my suggestion is find a group of friends whom you feel comfortable inn your own skin around and let yourself be free from the self loathing perpetuated by the narrow minds of those who aren't worth the brain space

 

This was written 2 years ago XDDD