I'm just a bit peeved as I was supposed to be meeting up with a friend last week - that didn't happen, then she suggested yesterday which didn't happen either. I know she has chronic insomnia and that must be hard. I suffer from low energy levels (waiting to see if its anaemia), but would still text someone to cancel. She was awake at lunchtime because I saw an online comment to someone else. Why not say then? Meh. I was going to cook her dinner (as was planned on the Sunday) and it just feels like a waste. I don't even like the same food as her lol but now have it spare! I just thought we were past all this last minute cancelling and not cancelling at all phase. There were two occasions when we went out recently and she was alert and I want that friend back! I just don't know what to do if she texts today. Any input lol? Thanks! x
Maybe the best thing to do would sound a little skeptical while rescheduling but let here know how you were really looking forward to seeing her on Sunday. I wouldn't "cut ties", instead let her know how you feel about not being able to see her on your past set dates.
Just say "I want to hang out, but, you stood me up twice now. I understand if you have to cancel or if something comes up; however, please just let me know so I can have a chance to make other plans as well." If she does it again, you basically have two options - lower your expectations and plan accordingly - or - continue to be disappointed.
I would talk to her about her constantly cancelling and not telling you about it and try again but if she does it again then instead of trying to make plans with her again just don't bother. Like talk to her and still be friends with her but don't try and make plans again and eventually she'll probably try and make plans for you guys and follow through with those. I've tried that with a few of my friends who act like that and that generally seems to work. I usually put a distance between me and my friends who act like that because that's not fair and not a nice way to treat a friend.
Hey, thanks all for replying. Haven't had anything through today, but she's usually around at 8pm or during the middle of the night. It's a difficult one, because I worry about her being ill and then worry about being there too much for her (or trying to be). Ahh lol! x
Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily cut ties. I have a good friend who likes to go to concerts, but if we try to go to one together, I have roughly a 75% chance of her cancelling - usually with very little warning so I can't find somebody else to go. I didn't defriend her - I just stopped asking her to concerts. Lex
here's how i deal with a no call no show cancellation.... you do it to me once and if you apologize, i will accept and give you another chance. you do it to me twice, and i cut you off. here's how i deal with a precancellation..... you cancel a day before or hours before, im ok with that if you suggest another day/time. if you cancel that day/time, then im done with you or i will no longer initiate a request to hang out with you. if you cancel and you do not suggest another day/time, then i need you to leave me alone for good.
Hey, thanks for your advice. How would your advice differ if I kind of sprung this event on her? Like, I said ''I really want to cook for you'' and she was accepting, named a time etc. Would your rules still apply to that situation where the other friend hadn't planned it per se? Thanks! x
