Practically every hour of every day, the thought of Labels is always on my mind. Whether it's in the spotlight, or clouded by my other thoughts, it's always there. Every day, I ask myself, "What am I?" I hate Labels, always have, always will. They are way too confusing. But sometimes, they can be wonderful. When queers come out of the closet, they say the label of which they are. "Mom, I'm gay." "Uncle Russel, I'm a lesbian." "Dad... I'm Transsexual." I've heard the feeling is exhilarating, powering, releasing, and absolutely amazing. How can such a simple word make you feel so good?♥ Back on topic. I've been bouncing between labeling myself as Bisexual, to 100% Lesbian. Depending on the day. I'm getting really confused, angry, lost and frankly, pissed. XD I've ALWAYS liked girls, since I was born. I know for a fact I'm not straight. I'm in 7th grade and have really been questioning my sexuality. Certain things started adding up...: 1) I'm attracted to girls, sexually and romantically. 2) I can see myself growing up with a girlfriend, getting married and starting a family. 3) I have dreams about making love to girls. 4) I have a desire to touch (not in the naughty way), kiss, and look at girls. 5) I can picture myself holding hands with a future girlfriend, kissing in public, etc... 6) Girls turn me on. Boys don't. 7) ...Right now, I'm in love. With a guy. Number 7, is the problem. Ever since the beginning of 7th grade, I've been head-over-heels (love at first sight) for a boy. Let's just call him... Peaches, alright? So he's amazing in every little way. He's beautiful, has brown eyes (my favorite), we have a lot in common, he's the funniest guy I know... I'm just completely in love. A day without him is like 24 hours spent in Hell. I can't bare it. He gives me butterflies, shaky hands, and tremendous amounts of blushing. Here's the thing. I always thought Labels were based on your SEXUAL preference. Having that said, I can never see having sex with a guy in the future. Ever. In fact, the idea disgusts me. Sex with a girl, on the other-hand, turns me on completely. I'm so lost here. I used to have a crush on my best friend, who was a girl, back in the day. I've never had a genuine crush on a boy before. Peaches is my first dude crush. He's one in a million. We all are, of course. But he's the one boy in a million that I could possibly have a crush on. We get along insanely well, it's almost like we can read each others minds. No other boy in my entire school, do I find attracted too. None. It's not even just because I'm in love with one. I'm serious. No other guy is attractive to me, or makes me blush or get butterflies. Some girls do, heck yeah. So, onto my problem. I've been considering myself Lesbian, for about a week now. But every time I go to school and see his face, I feel nothing but pure attraction. I think to myself, "I must be Bi. I have to be. This is too strong." I've seen posts on here saying that if your Lesbian, it doesn't mean you've shut down the idea of dating a guy anytime in the future. Maybe that's the case for me? In my heart and mind, I think I'm a Lesbian. It's only him. He confuses me so much with my sexuality that I get headaches. Hardest question in the world to answer... Am I Bisexual or Lesbian? :tears: Thanks guys, ~Lucy. (!)
Maybe you're a biromantic lesbian. Meaning you're sexually attracted to women but can have romantic relationships with both men and women. Some people on here identify with that so you might want to ask them more about it. Or you can just label yourself as queer. It basically means you're not straight... which is true. Or you can just not label yourself at all. You don't have to although I understand the need to do so. Maybe you just need to give it some more time and then you'll find the right label for you.
Thanks dreamcatcher, I really appreciate the help. ♥ Biromantic Lesbian sounds about right to me, actually.
You sound a lot like me. I've been going back and forth between being bisexual and a biromantic lesbian for a long time now.
Yeah, it really is. I've been going back and forth over and over again. It's really annoying. But, at least I've accepted the fact that I am somewhere in the LGBT alphabet soup. For a while, I didn't even accept that...
You are still really young, maybe you should just give yourself a little time, don't try to rush yourself. People change and grow a lot through their teen years and trying to push yourself into a category so soon isn't good for you. by all means explore who you are and always be true to yourself but you don't have to be so serious so soon.
