The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning :D)

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

I'm not sure I had the same problem, but I'll say that it's quite natural for you to be questioning and unsure. This is a complex issue that most people don't really need to worry about - because their orientation conforms to society's expectations.

I can't imagine that you'd be 'forcing' yourself to be gay. It doesn't make sense. The fact that you're questioning and coming to this site and even considering this issue suggests that you're not straight. Because if you were, you wouldn't even be having these thoughts.

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

Hi!

I've actually come to a similar conclusion recently. For a good portion of my life I thought I was straight, and then bisexual, because I thought I was supposed to be attracted to guys as well. I mean, I think guys are attractive, but when I think about them, I could never imagine myself in a relationship with one or sexually attracted to one in the same way that I am to a girl.

I think what the issue is that from the start we're kind of taught that girls are 'supposed' to like boys and vice versa. And questioning that and breaking that mindset is fucking hard. If you can imagine yourself in a relationship with another woman in a way you'd never be able to see yourself with a man, I don't think you're forcing yourself to be anything.

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

I'm actually going through a similar process. I always assumed I was straight, and I had two small crushes on guys I knew, on in middle school and the other in high school. I found I was never really excited about the idea of being with a relationship with anyone, regardless of gender. And now, as best as I can tell, I have a crush on a female friend. I'm still trying to work out exactly what I feel about her, but I'll admit to sometimes fantasizing about kissing her.

I know what you mean by worrying about whether you're forcing yourself to like women. I only recognized myself as queer a few weeks ago, so I still feel that way sometimes. I think the only thing that will sort that out completely is time, which isn't all that helpful.

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

Absolutely 100% went through what you are going through, only a few years on from where you are. The problem is or so I found that you are unsure so you dont talk to anyone about it, it just goes round and round in your head and when you come to a conclusion you then doubt yourself, and then start re-thinking and over thinking the situation. If you could get medals in over thinking I would have one.

Take the time to chat to some people here on EC and you will see its quite common, it will get better I promise you that. I think you know deep down the answer to your question you just need a bit of support.

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

Well are you thinking of coming out to any friends or family soon, or are there any LGBT groups you can go to? EC is a really great place to come to make you feel more comfortable, it helped me so much. I also got to the point where I was like ok one of my worst fears is if I come out gay and then decide im not or fall in love with a guy, it frustrated me so much and then eventually I just thought you know, so what if that happens, sure everyone might pass comment for a while but it will get old and then life will continue as it was. Its not a one way road, if you come out as gay they dont take away your rights to ever date a man .

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

Yeah Parents are often the last people you want to tell. Its cool that your closets friends and sister know that you are going through a confused stage, its tough to be totally alone, but at the same time I understand that it can be difficult to talk openly with people who havent experienced similar things, I didnt tell any of my friends until I had stressed about it for ages, been on EC a while, and was feeling better about everything.

 

Re: The more I think, the more complicated the whole thing is...(longer post warning

I used to wonder if I'd somehow forced or conditioned myself to like girls, but my resolution to that question was that there must have been some interest to begin with- after all, who would wake up one day and realise, with no evidence what so ever, that they could be gay? I also decided that in a way it didn't really matter, because I know that I like girls now, and am perfectly happy in the knowledge that I'll grow up to have a wife. The process of working through everything made me into the person I am, and I don't think that I could 'just go back to being straight because even after I throught it through for what seemed like centuries, I was wrong after all!' C: And as the others said, it doesn't matter if you do end up dating a boy, as people would get over it.

I had that feeling telling me that I was gay too, and tried to avoid it for a while. In the end I got used to the idea, and learnt to accept my self. I think that it really does just take time to work out your preferences, and come to terms with yourself. I completely get what you said about the boys though. Every 'celeb crush' I had was highly publicised in magazins, and the same as my friends- I only did it to fit in- and any that I genuinely liked the look of were stunningly pretty