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Never thought it'd be this hard.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by margaritas16, Feb 16, 2012.

  1. margaritas16

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2012
    Messages:
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    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Saying that I'm terrified to come out to my family might seem like a bit of an overstatement, but just thinking about it makes me feel sick. There's been so many different things that have happened that make me not want to bring it up at all. The biggest thing is that I'm afraid they won't believe me or take me seriously, and that will kill me, especially since this is something I haven't been sure of until recently, and have never even brought up ever. I've been interested in boys before, so to tell them now all of the sudden that I'm gay would be unexpected. The other thing that worries me that they'd attribute it to instead of me finally being honest about who I am is that a little over six months ago, I was sexually assaulted by a guy at college. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard about it, but to be blunt, that really fucked me up for a while. I had to drop out of my winter semester. What if they just think this is me trying to avoid any type of relationship with a guy because of that?

    I don't know... like, there's a part of me that thinks they'd be accepting of who I am, but there's a part that thinks whenever they said they're accepting of all sexual orientations, they didn't mean it when it came to me. When my mom says she can't wait til I marry a nice boy or asks if I found a boyfriend or she can't wait til I have babies with a nice husband... it worries me. The last thing I want is to disappoint them. I've thought about looking for help here on campus like with the LGBT center, but there's so many people here at school from my town I can't bring myself to go, because I don't want anyone to see me there.

    I just feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, and it fucking sucks...
     
  2. Mlpguy88

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2011
    Messages:
    915
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    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    First off, I'm sorry you were a victim of assault (*hug*)

    And don't worry your not alone, I'm in a similar circumstance also. But when looking at you family is there anything that stands out to you that could mean that they wouldn't accept you if you came out? Or has there been any indication in the past about negative feelings towards homosexuality?
     
  3. stephaniko

    Full Member

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    I know what you mean about them not taking you seriously, that has happened a lot to me. or the "its just a phase" thing. But if its truly how you feel then sooner or later the time will just seem right. It may take them a little while to adjust and be accepting but it will all be for the better. Its a liberating experiance