"learn your place woman"

Hey dont get too disheartened I am sure your friend didnt mean to upset you, im sure in time as they grow to understand it, they wont make insensitive comments, perhaps they were trying to make a little joke to make you feel better, even if it wasnt the right thing to do.

 

Sounds like he was joking when he said "learn your place". But, yeah, he seems quite ignorant in what hes saying. Perhaps it would be helpful to direct him to this forum? or maybe there are other resources available somewhere which can explain to him what this is all about?

 

Most likely a joke just like those sandwich/kitchen jokes.

 

K. You know better than us. You were there, we werent.

(*hug*)

 

Even if he was joking, it upset you so it matters. Have you thought of talking to him about your feelings toward what he said? Regardless of if he was joking or not, it was insensitive given how you were going to him as a good friend in need of another good friend. (*hug*)

 

Looking at your side-pic, I think you look gentler and more approachable attired as a guy. You don't look like a guy. You don't look like a girl who is dressed as a guy, either. You look like a general down-to-earth, approachable person who might have interests, hobbies, ideas to share, etc.. You look like someone who gets things handed in on time. You look trustworthy. Where in THE FUCK does he get, "scary girls who think they can just act like a man"? That's bull crap.

Your friend is in the wrong, here. This doesn't mean you have to stop being his friend, but he's in the wrong. He said something that he knew would be hurtful, and he knew it was ignorant. He owes you one hell of an apology.

You've been burned, but you have good people here and elsewhere to support you. Everything will be cool.

 

Plus those kind of "jokes" aren't cool especially in a situation like yours.

 

No worries EC is always here, I think finding him some info or directing him somewhere is a good idea.

 

As someone well-versed in the art of humor, I think your friend's joke was neither funny nor did it make any sense.

 

I seriously, would have told him immediately that what he said was inappropriate and offensive.

 

that was some hurtful stuff to say even if he was joking. you're doing the right thing by talking to him about it. let us know what happens.

 

This. Whether it was meant as a joke or not, he said something hurtful. You deserve an apology. I would talk it out with him to see where he was coming from. If someone told me that, my feelings would be hurt. (&&&)

 

^ i'd just have a talk with him and let him know how hurtful and ignorant what he said was. It was truly very sexist, very transphobic, and generally a douche bag thing to say to your friend who is coming out to you.

 

The reason it seems like a joke to people is that it's over the top in how offensive it is, and it seems like no one could say that in seriousness. But there really are people who think like that, so there's no reason to assume it must have been a joke.

If he's set in that attitude, you're going to have to get new friends, I'm afraid.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I think you'll find that most people will not react quite that badly.

(*hug*)