so i have the worst luck with guys. i either pick the one that treats me like crap, beats me, lives to far, to clsoe, to differnt than me. sucks casue i spent most of my life alone i have family but we arent close guess you can say im the black sheep of the family. didnt make real friends till i hi tmy senior year of high school. but ya sicne i moved im away from my best frined who means everything to me an i find myself feeling really alonw anting someone to care about me to lvoe me but like i said i choose the worst guys. anyways back to want i need help on im talking to an ex who realllly really likes me he's been tryaing really hard to be a part of my life an thats cute an all but just the reason i dont want him back is cause his attitude his bitchyness his view of life bugs me sooo much hes bitchy spoiled pushy arragant everything im not but i keep letting him back in my life then kicking him ou tbeen like this past 4 or 5 years now. but this time its differnt he's telling me he wants to change cause he always wanted me in his life cause i make him be better. but i jus tnever seen it the last time i talked to hime before htis was like three years so i knwo people change but do they really? just dont know wha tto do his fancy words are confusing me lol i keep telling him that i dont want him to change. i tell he needs ot be who he is an to find someone who can accept him an love him for who he is but ya he keeps tryign..... blaw..... do people peopel change?
well first off ive read enough gay romance and a heck of alot of smut to know that people should never change unless its for the good and not because you must fit someone else's criteria of perfect, if you can accept him for his what ever faults, or because you have lost that feeling hes not really bringing back, it's time to move on. with that being said, lets go back to the boyfriend thing, if it is really your choice of guys to go out with why choose the bad ones? Ive read enough posts here on EC to know that you are not the only one who struggles in getting the "perfect guy" which to me doesnt exist without compromise Next time when you are finding someone, make it count, that means no bias towards physical features, and you should really make a list of a mental note to what sort of guy you want on an emotional level and the personality traits you want, sure the guy might not have all of them but its nice to have a guy who ticks most of the boxes and to "NOT" find a boyfriend for the sake of having one, i dont know why people always think having someone in their lives will automatically cure all their problems, if anything you should try clearing most of those problems yourself if you can. i think maybe you can also try and improve in the friends area since what im getting at is that you lack in close ones, its nice to find a really great friend to love because after all friends are the family you choose, if thats a problem there are people here you can talk to also
Hi lonelyheart, Ask yourself this question "is this guy you been on and off with a positive or negative thing to your life?" It doesn't sound like he is and ultimately you are the one to decide if you would like to invite this kind of people/energy in or out of your life. I have friends who experienced similar situations as you have described and it takes a lot of self-awareness and conscious effort to make a difference for yourself. I do believe people can "change", however, sometimes is best not to be part of their life during the change.
well sanguine the thing is i want ab/f to start a new life as in finding the right guy get married have kids that sort of thing im ready for all that nothing big i think i need chaigni in my life other than the fact i need a job right now an i know that sounds bad when wanting a family an all but really isnt if u knew my situation so ya lol and i do have really close friends like peopel ive known for logn time that i lvoe an love that are lfamily just sinc ei moved we are so far apart its rare when i get to see them so ya oh an i never said im looking for the perfect guy the guy i was talking about hes just like i said pushy an bitchy an honestl dont mean that in a mean way but u know those people who are naturaly bitch right? or is it just me who notices it lol and squally89 he's both good an bad in my life good as in he pushes me to be bette rperson but same time pushes me ot dowhat he wnats an ignores what or how i want a feel. an the change part well he wants to change for me to be with me not liek big life changing thing like the things that bug me he wants to change but i just think he shouldnt have ot he should find someone who loves him for him i loved him once but over the years lost it specialy when we had big big big fights a few years ago that kind of died in me i hav efeelings for him jus tidk if i can be with him be nice if he could change but ya im scared if i do go in to it an he maybe changes at first then starts slipping back an i get in to deap i might get stuck which i tend to do sometimes an u migh task ur self how do i get stuck i can leave when ever well when i get in a relationship i try to work it out i get in my mind set that it can work out as long as we try an i end up wasting mmonths or even years of my lif eon a dead en d
beats you? you sound like you have low self esteem and self value issues that that happens to all of us at one point or another. however, your ex is an ex for a reason and should stay and ex. sometimes when we are lonely or depressed, we tend to grasp at straws for comfort. we think "no one else wants me and this is the best I can get." you have to avoid this temptation because the rush and excitement of having someone in your life quickly wears aways when they start treating you like crap and their old ways come back. sure, people can change but instead of letting someone back in your life that wasn't good for you be happy for their change from afar and focus on finding someone new that you cna start with. even with change, there's sometimes old baggage and bad feelings that are left over from bad relationships, so its best to just move on.
