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why cant i say it?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MrHojalata98, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. MrHojalata98

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    i like guys. Ive known that for a while know, and i already accepted it and came to terms with myself. Im still a bit confused on wther i like girls,but thats not the point. I want to come out, or atleast to my sister at the moment, ive beeen wantoing to come out for so long, and im almost sure my sister would be supportive about it. So why is it that whenever we are alone talking and i want to tell her, the words just dont come out? its so frustrating because aferwards i beat myself up for not doing it. and ive literally tried everything, form telling her to leaving subtle hints so that she might try guessing it, but nothing happens :/. So has anyone been in the same place as me? i want tobe able to talk to her about this but the words just dont seem to form in my mouth when im talking to her. plz help :frowning2::help:
     
  2. silverhalo

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    Yeah I often have this problem, I find that the best things for me to do are to tell the person I need to tell them something which obviously means I kind of have to tell them and makes them more likely to try and guess. If I cant do that then sometimes I write things down, so like in your case prepare a piece of paper before hand with im gay or whatever you want to put on it and then when you are alone and talking you hand it to her. I have also used email to tell people because I find it so hard to say.
     
  3. colorful

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    I haven't actually told anyone yet, but I'm pretty much in the same situation trying to tell my brother. I honestly think I've dropped enough hints that he has actually guessed, but I can't be sure. Most people aren't just going to outright ask you. I would say continue giving hints and then it might make you more comfortable and her more comfortable when you actually are in the right situation to tell her.
     
  4. FloatingPiano

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    I've had the same problem as you in the past. It's like you want to say it, but then nothing comes out. I think this is because you're mind is telling you you're not fully ready to come out, or that it's juts not the right moment to do so.

    I really don't have much advice, but I think it will happen when the time is right. :slight_smile:
     
  5. Lemony Lime

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    I had the same problem. I cannot say "I'm gay." It's so much harder than you might think. I came out to both of my parents without actually having to say it though. I started talking about gays in general with my mom, and she asked if I was, so at that point I just nodded. You might try doing something along those lines... although, if they never ask, it may be kind of awkward.

    And I just spent the last 5 days going insane because I couldn't tell my dad... eventually I said "You know how I asked you what you thought about gays last summer? It was because I was trying to tell you back then, that I am." So, I said it without directly saying it.

    It's weird to think that those two words have that much power, but for some reason, it's so much easier if you can figure out a way to avoid them. (Then again, maybe you shouldn't... it probably means that you don't fully accept yourself, or some other psychological nonsense. lol :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)
     
  6. Hazel

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    Could you maybe try saying that you have something you really need to tell her, and write it on a note?
     
  7. Jordash

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    Yeah, write it in a note. Then give it to her, or leave it for her on her bed or something.
    Thats what I do when I just can't find the words.
     
  8. stephaniko

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    I had this problem with coming out to most of my friends. i eventually went with the "fuck it" approach and straight up told them