Ok! so, I am straight (kinda) and in a relationship with a Bi-gender Girl. I love her and support her with this. However I seem to be having a few troubles. Biggest of which is that I can't seem to get her to understand that I really do support her in this and that I love her no matter what. I am also having issues with her when she is in her Male form. Its not that i am having issues with this but that I have never been with another guy so I don't really know how to treat him? I don't really know how to put it? Like I want to love on him so he knows I'm think of him as him and not as her and that he is my boyfriend? I want to be able to make him feel like he is a man and that he is my man. Also another thing we seem to be having trouble with is well sex, there are those times where he is "wanting" and well what do we do? I don't want to take her out of it yet well any tips? lol (if that last Question is to graphic for this site please feel free to ignore it) (I'm sorry if I am not making sense) Any advice?
(Coming from a girl who's currently struggling with gender identity issues) Treat her like you would if she was in 'female form.' I'm sure she probably wants you to treat her the same way you would on a regular basis, not any different just because of her bi-genderality (? points for made up word?) If you need to, sit down with her and talk about it, see what she wants. It's good for couples to be able to do that, and if you do that with her, it'll prove that you really love her. It shouldn't be much of a problem after you talk it out. As for the mentality, ask her if she wants to be referred to as a guy when she's in her 'male form.' There's no exact say since everyone's different. If you need, feel free to PM me. ^^
Just to add onto what Legit is saying, not only sit down with her to talk about it, but I think it's more important if you sit down and talk to him about it. From what it sounds like you're relationship with her is fine, but it's when issues with him come up that stuff starts to get muddled.
Hi and welcome. Let me start by saying that it's wonderful you are so open and supportive of your partner! It's possible that part of the reason they (I'm going to use the neutral "they" to refer to your partner since I don't know their pronoun preference, if that's ok with you?) may be having difficulty believing that you accept them is because they are having difficulty accepting themselves. As I'm sure you know, there is a lot of social stigma against people who step outside of gender norms, and this stigma can become internalized by a person who doesn't fit within those norms. It can take a lot of time and patience for someone to fully accept themselves before they are ready to believe that others can accept them too. It sounds to me like you are already patiently repeating to your partner that you love and accept them, and really, this is the best thing you can continue to do. I agree with the two posters above that you don't necessarily need to change the way you treat your partner depending on what gender they happen to be expressing at a given time. Our ideas about how men and women should be treated are socially constructed, and often (in my opinion) misguided. However, it is possible that there might be certain ways your partner would like to be treated differently - and the best way to know what those are is to ask. Same goes for sex and intimacy. Ask your partner what they want to do when they are expressing as male (or as female, for that matter). Find out what their fantasies are. And maybe beforehand, ask yourself what you're willing to do as well. If your partner, for example, would like to wear a strap-on when they're expressing as male, what activities (oral sex, anal sex, etc.) would you feel comfortable doing with them? To clarify, I'm not expecting you to answer these questions here on the forum - just to think about them yourself and discuss them with your partner. Just a heads-up, members are not able to PM each other until they have applied and been accepted as Full Members. You can PM staff, but not other members. Please let me know if either of you have any questions about this.
I think they may just want to be treated more masculine, and not so much like the social convention of a girlfriend. They probably just want to know that you accept them as both a male and a female but not as separate people.
Just a heads-up, members are not able to PM each other until they have applied and been accepted as Full Members. You can PM staff, but not other members. Please let me know if either of you have any questions about this.[/QUOTE] I know that, my account is a Full Member I was just on my friends when I saw this post so I commented. Should've logged out of hers xD
