After a lot of effort trying to figure out proper terminology, I've to realize that, not only am I pansexual, but pangender. Oddly enough this all started out with me questioning whether or not I was gay...then realizing I was....then pan, and that in turn made me question my gender. I think I questioned my gender since, orientation-wise, I don't really care, which made me think that maybe I didn't care because, while the other person could be any gender, maybe I could too. And that thought felt right. But there's always that questioning voice in the back of our heads, ya know? I'm not really sure what to say about it. Whenever my dad starts talking about how I've grown into this type of man or that type of man, it just gets to me. So I'm still not sure what to think about gender...whether I identify as both at the same time, or something that's not quite either. However, what solidified my conviction that I am not straight, is when going over my resume, my dad said "well putting that you were in musical theatre and GSA might make him think you're not straight" (ya, I'm not out to my family yet) and him saying that made me physically sick to my stomach...so that was awkward....It's just so confusing trying to sort out all these thoughts. Any help about...anything, advice, common stories, something to let me know this isn't just me......well damn, I be happy just to see if anyone cares :/
I care! And I guarantee it's not just you. You may or may not be the only person who identifies specifically as pansexual and pangendered on this forum, but there are lots of people struggling to figure out where they fall in both spectrums too. Unfortunately, at the moment one thing we don't really have on this forum is an expert in gender identity issues. And I'll admit that "pangender" is a new term for me (although I think I can understand what it means by association with terms like "pansexual"). But perhaps you could clarify what it means to you? Or is that part of what you're trying to figure out? You say that your dad's comment made you feel sick to your stomach. Was that because you were afraid he was right, or you were afraid of how he would react if he found out he was right?
To clarify what I mean. I kind of am trying to figure it out. I feel like at different times I could be one gender over others, but for the most part I don't feel like I really am any gender....I don't know how to word it...the only reason I was able to decide on pangender is because of definitions I've found and stories of people who recognize themselves as pangender and it's almost seemed like I could have written those stories, they're so accurate. When I say his comment made me feel sick I guess it's because of two reasons: one, I'm afraid of how he would react if I ever actually came out and ruined his sense of who i am and two, it's always effected me when people called me really gender-specific names, but for some reason it impacted me more when my father said how much of this or that man I was becoming because he sees me as something I stoped recognizing myself as a long time ago...and I know I'm 'male' but I just don't know what.
Hello there, I was just searching pangender and pansexual with Google and I came across your forum post. I just wanted to let you know that I identify as pangender and pansexual too. For most of my life I wasn't really sure how to define what I felt, but I knew I wasn't "normal", gay, or anything else I'd heard of. I came across the terms in college and immediately clung to them. Anywho... I feel like I'm simultaneously male, female, and something more than those socially-constructed concepts. Some days I feel drawn more to one gender, but othertimes I feel rather neutral, or just different. But I know I've got it figured out because everything feels more right now. Not sure if I'll ever remember to check back on this forum, but I'll try to check it at least once or twice. I love the topic and would be glad to discuss more. You don't happen to by polyamorous too, do you? Hugs.
Hey panpanpoly, I'm the same way. In high school I tossed around the idea of me being bi and being trans(but being trans didn't feel quite right, at least not in the trans-female kinda way), up until I came across the Pangender/sexual terms. Yes, I am polyamorous. (When you make a comment or post [after clicking on 'Post Reply' not quick reply, you can make the setting so that you will be emailed if a post you are part of gets commented on)
