Hello everyone, I've been pretty active on here lately, posting numerous threads daily, hoping to get questions answered and help me figure stuff out. Thankfully, everything I’ve been trying to figure out I've been able to. I've come to realize who I trully am and who I was always meant to be, and that I'm not alone, and neither are any of you. Let me just tell a little story: Since I was a kid, or as far back as I can remember, I have never been comfortable being called a boy/man/guy/male/etc. Conversely, whenever anyone jokingly around called me a girl/chick/female/etc felt just as uncomfortable. Now, given my build and how I look, I could never be mistaken for being female, at least not anymore; when I was younger I was a little bit overweight, but because of that I had a very androgynous appearance so, mixed with how I acted, some people would at first mistake me for a girl. Anyway, as of recent I started seeing a psychologist, dealing with what I thought to be bipolar disorder and various schizophrenic symptoms: hearing voices, seeing things, and exaggerated levels of paranoia. At this time I knew I wasn't straight, and was getting used to the fact that I was pansexual. What hadn't occurred to me at this point was whether I was happy as being 'male.' Once I did take this into consideration, suddenly everything felt right. My paranoia went away, I stopped hearing things, and I stopped seeing things. My paranoia centered around what people were thinking of me, and how they would act with what knowledge they had. Everything I saw was a person; someone looking at me and judging me. What I was hearing were normal, brief conversations; between a 'male' voice and an androgynous (in the sense it could have been either male or female) voice. I became normal. With such a simple thing as coming to realize who I am, I finally felt happy again. Nothing outwardly has changed about me, at least not yet, but inwardly I feel like everything has changed...for the better. I am normal. I am just like everyone else. I am pangender. I am pansexual. I am human. If any of you out there are going through something similiar, or something different, know that you're not alone. What you're feeling will work itself out and you will be happy with how it does, just as long as you're true to yourself. No matter what you're going through it will get better, and you will be happy (&&&)
It's great to read your story! Yep, you are normal and it is fantastic that you have accepted yourself and are comfortable with who you are! (*hug*)
