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Omg i need help anybody help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ravenn14, Feb 19, 2012.

  1. Ravenn14

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    I wanna tell my family soo bad but im scared that if i tell them they will think im totally diffrent and they wont aceppt me. Also all my friends know as well as twitter and they will find out by someone else. So any body with advice PLEASE HELP!!!!!
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! First off, deep breaths! It sounds like that you are ready to come out to your family. If you feel that you are ready to talk to your family, you can either talk to them individually, or you can try getting them all together and letting them know.

    If you feel that your family, such as your parents, might need a bit of time to adjust, or come around to it, maybe try writing them a letter and provide them with information on LGBT issues, and coming out so that they can educate themselves about it.

    Why do you feel that if you tell them they won't accept you? Have they given you any hints that this might be the case?
     
  3. LaplaceScramble

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    Well, first things first. You need to take a breath, relax, and calm down. Being this nervous about the situation will make it that much harder. So sit back, close your eyes, take deep breathes, whatever helps.

    Hopefully you've relaxed a bit. Next what you need to do is take some things into consideration. Like you said, everyone knows but your family, which leads me to believe it is very unlikely that they haven't picked up on small details, maybe guessed themselves, or picked up on bits of conversation from other people. If that is the case, and they haven't been acting any different lately, then that just means their reaction won't be as over the top as you think.

    What you also need to consider is how your family feels about homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality...basically how they feel about non-heterosexuality. Based on your past experiences of how they have reacted to non-heterosexuality, that should also either give you confidence or send up a warning flag.

    Something to also consider is, you're family. They're your parents and/or siblings, so while they may or may not react completely positively at first, they love you, so they wll come around to accept it and accept you (again this is all dependant on how they view non-heterosexuality).

    Something that you should also be prepared for, is that some of your family members may take it better than others. Obviously telling them will change their view of you a little bit, as they'll no longer see you as straight. Just remember that they're your family and they'll love you no matter what.
     
  4. hipocrisyender

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    I'm so sorry that you're so distressed. I'm not even sure of myself right now, so I have no coming out experience that will help you. I can certainly tell you from life experience that it's always better tell someone news yourself than for the person to hear it from someone else. If you think there's a chance that someone else will out you, I would recommend you just bite the bullet and just tell them immediately. Family is very important, but I think regardless of what they think you need to be true to yourself, even if they don't approve or if they think less of you. It's better to feel at peace with yourself than to worry about other people's opinions, even your own family members. I just joined this site and everyone here seems really great and supportive, so I'm sure someone might have better advice for you. I wish you the best of luck!
     
  5. Ravenn14

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    Thank you guys and girls another thing im worried about is that they wont treat me the same or act the same around me. And we will be more distant than we are now
     
  6. colorful

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    I would say tell them. They would probably rather hear it from you. They will most likely have a better reaction if you just tell them yourself. As for the being distant thing, I am not out so I can't say this with absolute certainty, but I think I would feel less distant from my family if they knew how I felt I just haven't come to the point where I am ready to tell them. If you are ready to tell them I would, because as you said they are probably going to find out eventually. I also agree that if you are out to others, they may suspect.
     
  7. LaplaceScramble

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    guys, girls, and other :slight_smile:

    At first they will probably act a little different around you, simply because they know something about you they didn't before. And that's normal for anything. As far as whether you become distant after this, I can only what I said before: you will probably grow a little distant at first, but knowing that you're not afraid of sharing things with them and that you trust them with something like this, you will hopefully grow closer.