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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 19th Feb 2012, 09:43 PM   #1
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Default Does Gay sex Hurt?

Everything I've read says that anal sex is a painful experience that turns pleasurable quickly. I've never had sex before and am just curious as to whether its a good experience or not.
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Old 19th Feb 2012, 09:59 PM   #2
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Hi there! Having sex for the first time, can be awkward and painful or lets say uncomfortable. It's pretty much like with everything that you try out for the first time. Sex, including anal sex, can be a good and even a great experience if you give yourself the time of getting prepared for it, and used to it. Usually it becomes not so pleasurable and, uncomfortable, when one or both try to rush things, and not taking the necessary steps and precautions that can make it a great experience.

Having said that, after a few times, if you feel that it is a turn off for you or you don't like it or pleasurable, that's okay.

Hope this helps.
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Old 19th Feb 2012, 10:00 PM   #3
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Anal should never hurt. That said, it DOES take preparation to be able to handle, and lots, lots, LOTS of good quality lubricant.

By preparation, i mean starting with small toys, well lubed, slowly working yourself up to handle larger and larger, up to approximately the size of your mate. Take it very slow, very gentle, and work your way up.

Now, if you find after all this it DOES still hurt, then a trip to the doctor is in order. You may want to that ahead of time.
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Old 19th Feb 2012, 10:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

I don't know why....but for most depictions of post-anal sex whoever was on the receiving end ends up walking with a limp because of...obvious reason....what's the truth in that?
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Old 19th Feb 2012, 11:30 PM   #5
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

I'm not sure if this helps, but my friend has a set of gradually length and width-increasing "trainer" butt plugs. He offered for me to try the small one if I ever wanted to, which I haven't yet... one thing at a time.
But he also recommended a lot of lube and going slowly.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 09:07 AM   #6
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Taking men of greater girth requires some technique, and I had the odd luck of my first love being one of those pony boys. Don't be disappointed if you can't take something like that the first time. I sure couldn't. I could hardly get my jaws around it.

In fact, your first time, you might explode in agony as your sphincter is stretched: that goes away as your muscles relax, so don't let it worry you too much. From there, it's best to ask your lover to move in small motions. Small motions at a normal pace help get you mentally accustomed to being serviced by a man, so it works better that way than attempting longer strokes that you aren't ready for.

When you are ready to take longer thrusts, you will find yourself pressing back instinctively to take more of it, and you get this nice steam-bath sensation. You actually find out quickly, at this point, why some bottoms are insatiable sluts. If you do it just right, it is amazingly pleasurable.

Anyway, all the advice I see above is awesome, so just take all into account. Good luck.

---------- Post added 20th Feb 2012 at 08:11 AM ----------

Oh, and let me also plant this seed in you: look up "frottage." Many gay couples just stick to frottage and do little else. Some people find it to be much more romantic, and you might like it better ultimately than anal sex.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 09:16 AM   #7
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bi to Canada View Post
I don't know why....but for most depictions of post-anal sex whoever was on the receiving end ends up walking with a limp because of...obvious reason....what's the truth in that?
Completely false in some aspects. If done properly, the guy's not going to walk with a limp. Now if the top is extremely aggressive, practically slamming in every time or without using lube and being 'violent' then yeah, there will probably be a bit of limping because the bottom will be in some pain and of course the limp isn't that the legs are hurting but more that the man has a rather sore butt which can effect walking properly a bit.

But like I said, if done properly, there is a much smaller chance of limping afterwards, first time or fiftieth time.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 10:35 AM   #8
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

No, anal sex should not hurt. If it's hurting it's being done wrong. Does it hurt when you poop? How large is the diameter of your turd? Is it about the same size as your penis? Granted sex is a bit different than that, but the point being that if your body can relax to allow the turd to pass w/o pain, you can have anal sex w/o pain as well. With some practice relaxing, lots of lube, and learning how it feels with one finger for example, you can work your way up to an average penis size and you should not experience pain. Learning to relax the sphincter is key.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 11:01 AM   #9
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

What about being a top? Does that hurt initially?
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 05:31 PM   #10
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jsmurf View Post
What about being a top? Does that hurt initially?
I don't think so. Try jerking off with your thumb and index finger making an increasingly smaller opening, simulating a tight sphincter. At some point the opening would be too small for your penis to get through I guess, but I don't think it would hurt. If the guy can relax enough for you to get in, I don't see how it could hurt the top, but maybe someone with experience will reply. This is all speculation from the viewpoint of a circumcised guy so I don't know the mechanics of a natural penis.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 05:38 PM   #11
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

I've heard, not sure if it was on EC, but if it's your first time, it's said that laying down on your side might alleviate some of the pain...but again, that's only what I heard, not sure if it is true.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 07:47 PM   #12
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Thanks!!
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 07:54 PM   #13
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mnguy View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsmurf View Post
What about being a top? Does that hurt initially?
I don't think so. Try jerking off with your thumb and index finger making an increasingly smaller opening, simulating a tight sphincter. At some point the opening would be too small for your penis to get through I guess, but I don't think it would hurt. If the guy can relax enough for you to get in, I don't see how it could hurt the top, but maybe someone with experience will reply. This is all speculation from the viewpoint of a circumcised guy so I don't know the mechanics of a natural penis.
Well im curious and want to know. I could only be a top. Also cut.
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Old 20th Feb 2012, 09:29 PM   #14
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Does it hurt? At first it burns but it turns to pleasure pretty quick. Try stretching your hole for a few days first to prep yourself. Put some kind of lubricant (I use lotion) on your pointer finger and slowly start loosening your hole. No more than three fingers are really needed to get the job done.

Oh and before I forget I have to mention the after burn. By that I mean after the sex is over, your butt is gonna sting for awhile but it'll go away soon.
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Old 21st Feb 2012, 06:08 AM   #15
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

It was just burning for you, A Man? Jeez, for me it took a long time to calm down to that point. For me, it felt like a splitting headache had appeared in that region, and it felt quite unwelcome and out-of-place.

Like I said, though, if we wait for it to pass, it just...goes away. I guess not everybody has that reaction because now you are here saying that it's just a burning sensation, and some people seem shocked that it hurts anyone at all.

When that sphincter muscle chooses to clamp down, watch out. It can send you through the ceiling, and that's why it's so important to make sure always, ALWAYS that you are in the mood and relaxed.
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Old 18th Jul 2012, 10:20 PM   #16
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

I have read some stuff in here about the pain that the bottom experiences due to the ramming of the top's penis onto the bottom's sigmoideum. I have recently experienced exactly that, and I can't say that it was absolutely horrific, rather, the pain took most of the pleasure away. Now, I understand that some people have suggested that proper relaxation is necessary - granted, but my pain happened despite of that. I'm convinced that it was due tu my partner's size and his insisting on putting it all the way in (otherwise there was practically no pain). I have also tried different positions, of which the missionary proved the least painful, and I'm sure it was so because he wasn't able to put it all the way in. I think I'm going to stick to guys with smaller penises in the future. That would eventually be my advice, should anyone else in a similar position ask for it.
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Old 18th Jul 2012, 10:39 PM   #17
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

It was not painful for me the dirst time, and the couple times I was a guy's first, they said it wasn't painful, either. It did take a lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of lube, and a lot of trust.

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Old 18th Jul 2012, 10:49 PM   #18
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

/ike most people said, anal sex can hurt. A lot. But if done wrong. If done right, it shouldn't hurt.

My ex boyfriend would insist on having anal, and id let him sometimes. But I never liked it cuz it always hurt a bit. But he never used lube and he was always kind of aggresive, just shoving it in and stuff. So with my new boyfriend, I was hesitant about doing anal, especially since he's bigger than my ex. A week or so ago, we tried it, but we didn't have any lube. And he barely got it in before I freaked out and made him stop. Because it hurt soo bad, it really burned. But the other night, I relented again. And that time, it was acutally good. I think it was because we had plenty of lube that time, and I was more prepared and relaxed. It stung a little bit at first, as he was going in. But once he was in the whole way, it didn't hurt at all. It actually felt kinda good.

You just need to make sure that you use plenty of lube, and you are relaxed. Because if you're tense, he's gonna have a harder time getting it in, and it'll hurt you a little. And like a lotta people already saud, stetching yourself first wouldn't be a bad idea.
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Old 18th Jul 2012, 10:52 PM   #19
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

Use a lot of lube and take things slowly and gradually. Stretching is super important and if you aren't careful you can really hurt yourself. You should also do some experimentation at home with your fingers, toys, etc. so that you know what feels good and what to expect. Good luck and be safe! <3
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Old 19th Jul 2012, 09:28 AM   #20
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Default Re: Does Gay sex Hurt?

It's never hurt for me, although I did practice a lot on my own before I ever had a real dick to play with. With some practice you can get orgasms from receiving anal. It's pretty intense.
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