So, I'm a semi closeted gay man and I just wanted to hear what you some of you 'out' people went through. I know I'm gay, I've always been since I can remember being anything, and I'm fine with it. But like most people, my problems arise from fear of rejection from friends and family. I'm just wondering how it went for people who have basically said "fuck it", and stopped hiding it from everyone/anyone, like, what am I in store for? like did people stop talking to you? Did you get FB bombed stupid crap? I'm really sick of being in the closet, and I am more dissapointed in myself than anything for hiding it like it's something to be ashamed of. I'm stronger, faster, and smarter than most people I know and there's nothing wrong with me at all. Honestly I don't care who knows anymore. I'd like to be free from it, not worry about it for once, maybe even find a boyfriend and some friends who don't care or are smart enough to get over it. I just know a large chunk of my already not so huge group of friends will flip a tit. It doesn't help that I am masculine either, because it's unheard of here and all. It's not like I'm gonna scream it to everyone or change at all really, but I just know that some people I know will have a serious problem because society has programmed it into them. I just really think I'm ready to get on with life now is all. I am not afraid of anyone, or for my safety really, and honestly anyone who has a big problem is retarded and their opinions are equivalent to poo to me anyway. The only thing that stops me is the fear of just being extremely lonely, I don't do well when I'm alone all day and this is surely not going to help that. Also, I've kind of given up trying to make new friends because I know I can't be honest with them, and it's not really worth it to me anymore, I already have enough people to fool right now. Plus, I think people my age in general are just very immature and ignorant anyway. I'm just tired of fake friends/relationships. I'm just not especially happy around a bunch of people who, while they don't know it, talk shit about me constantly. It's like a drug. I do it to get by, I mean nobody likes being alone, but then I need more at some point, yet I feel shitty about using it at the same time. I think at this point I'm happy/confident enough with/in myself to admit it, and if people have a problem, then fine, it's seriously their loss, and not even a tiny bit mine. I hope this makes sense... I just have no idea what to think anymore at all, and I need to make a decision because this shit is making me go crazy. some people can look past it, and not judge. I can't make up my mind at all. I came out to my brother last week and he's been super nice about it's just given me back a lot of my confidence, life sure would have been easier if everyone were like him... anyway, wow it got long I'll leave it at that.
Well.. My first boyfriend just happened to be my bestfriend at the time. Over time people started picking up on a vibe we emitted, and questioned us a bit. We told a couple of people, but not many. After we broke up, I discovered how hard it was to meet people so I just said screw it and came out. Personally, If you live in a rather somewhat accepting community, Go for it if your parents don't kill you. It's not like you can change your sexual preference. Being gay really isn't a big deal anymore, but people will still bug you about it no matter what. Go slowly, though. You don't want a ton of anxiety. How old are you?
