Oh hi! So, I've decided to come out to my dad. I've been out to my mom for 3 years this April. My parents are separated, and I live with my mom in the same city as my dad. I don't see my dad very often - once every two weeks or so. We're both so incredibly busy that's its hard to get together to do anything. My dad and I have a weird relationship - he actually knows very little about me. He doesn't know who my friends are, what I plan on doing with my life, or what I love doing in my free time. He never really asks and our conversations never really go there. But I'm sick of techinally "hiding" it from him. Don't get me wrong, I don't say I'm straight. I never have to. But I'm still incredibly nervous about telling him. I'll be telling him through a phone call because it's simply too difficult to get together in the first place. I've put a lot of thought into this and calling him is the best way for me - please don't slam it as cowardly or silly. Anyways, any advice? I'm terribly nervous. Thanks a bunch! x
Don't say anything you'd regret and forgive him for his gut reaction -- I don't know you but some parents have absolutely no idea and it takes time to sink in. Remember that you want acceptance but it has taken you awhile to get to where you are -- he might need some time as well. But reassure him that you're the same you, nothing is changing but that you thought he deserved to know you for you and you're tired of hiding from him. But Good Luck & God Bless! =)
Well if you think calling is the best way, go for it! Congrats on finally telling your dad tonight, that's great. Telling him this might bring you and him to a closer relationship, since he'd know something about you. Just tell him you have something important to tell him, so there's no way to back out of it if you get too nervous. I wish you the best of luck!
Does your mom know you are planning on telling him? Or a friend? Have someone waiting to spend time with you after, so that you can celebrate if it goes well, but especially so that there is someone there if it goes badly. And, like Fintan said, be forgiving of whatever the initial reaction is, and don't take it too much to heart. Going forward, keep in mind that your relationship with your father has probably grown more distant in part because you felt like you couldn't tell him this. So, hopefully, you will be able to have a closer relationship with him after this. You might want to emphasize that as one of the reasons you're telling him. Do you have any idea what his views about gay people are generally? How do you expect him to react?
No. Nobody has any idea. He's never shared ANY opinions, good or bad, about gay people. As awful as it sounds... If he like, hates me for it, I don't think it'll affect my life that much. I'm expecting him to probably stress a bit but generally be okay with it. I'm one of the few people he has left in his life. ---------- Post added 20th Feb 2012 at 06:30 PM ---------- Thank you!
