Thinking about it....

well to be honest Ty I think women in general get a lot of pleasure from sex. I completely agree that in school and to a certain extent college a lot of the girls tend to be up tight about sex, especially when speaking about it around men. But at uni, loads tend to change their outlook thinking that it;s something great and not shameful as they thought before.

OMG I work with a couple of girls who have not long come out of uni and they're so up front about set it even knocks me back some times. There's a lot of pleasure for them to be had! And remember, they have a front door and a back door... sorry to out female members for sounding crude. So surely they must have more possibility for pleasure.

 

well from what i hear from different sources some find it pleasureable like some whore friends i have and other find it completely unpleasureable from more mature sources. me personally as a virgin would never want one of those 'things' near or around me let alone in me! sounds so disgusting and not pleasureable at all! i don't even like tampons why would u want one of those up there? lol srry if thats TMI but i'm trying to elaborate on the subject. i think girls can get pleasure out of lesbian sex because it focus's on what feels good instead of your basic in's and out's. so its about what feels good to each induvidual. of course i'm all for the idea that men and women were never meant to be partners excpet for reprocing. its like gay guys and lesbians seem to have more combatibility! straight girls are simply loosing out... *shakes head*

 

hmmm wouldn't call my friends whores though, they just have a healthy sex life in my opinion and seem to enjoy it. I suppose it depends all on the individual, like anal sex too. Some like to take, some like to receive, some like to do both.

 

don't worry, it's not crude. i can see how it could seem that way, as lots of the messages in culture say that women don't enjoy sex, and some women give that impression too. so it's not crude or anything, it's good of you to post =] on the other hand, i think it's totally incorrect, because lots of women can and do enjoy sex!

in our culture there's sometimes a feeling that women shouldn't like sex, because it's crude or unladylike or something. sex is also seen as something to please men. and most porn and whatever is geared towards men, so there's little expression by women of what they really enjoy. so cultural representations of sex, which are made by men for men, can be unappealing to women. but lots of women do enjoy sex, if they have partners who try and pleasure them. unfortuantely some men also view sex as only for their gratification, so some women end up never seeing how it could be fun for them too. :icon_sad:

as for the girls going "eeew"... well, firstly, it may be the disgusting porn and things they've seen. again, it's all geared towards a certain kind of man, and why should it appeal to them, if that's the only cultural representation they see? but more probably, they think it's "slutty" to seem as if they might want sex. especially in front of a boy, most girls think the only way to save their reputation is to pretend they think sex is disgusting. privately, or among girlfriends, they may think differently. it's like the way that teeangers always deny masturbating when they so blatantly do it - it's just a social stigma thing.

and about the women in porn.... don't trust porn. it's made by men for men, and some of it is seriously sick. these guys get turned on by moaning women, not women in control of their bodies giving and receiving in a mutually pleasurable relationship. so that's the only kind of scenes they film. it's doesn't mean that it's a realistic representation of all women and sex.

oh, and the women complaining about sex? i guess you mean women saying their sex with their men is bad. well, that could be for lots of reasons. as i've said, many men don't know how to please a woman, or don't try, and the women are conditioned to think that the sex is for the man anyway. so some relationships are very male dominated and unfulfilling for women. ....on the other hand, lots of relationships are very fulfilling and the women and men in them enjoy them a lot. it's just those ones tend to keep it to themselves; the ones with problems complain. i mean, think about it: if a woman went about saying "sex with my husband is so great, i can hardly drag myself out of bed each morning" (lol) you would think she was TMIing on you, probably?

anyway, that's just my ideas. they may not be accurate. my main point is that lots of women can and do enjoy sex. it's just our fucked up culture that can make that seem unlikely at times. ( also, i'm totally not attacking you, it's brave of you to post, i always think it's better to talk about things and get over them, otherwise this stuff just festers in your head )

hey, thinking about it, didn't beckyg once say she enjoyed sex? maybe you could come and testify that you do, becky, if you don't mind, and be a real example of a satisfied woman :icon_wink

 

Wow I have never heard that or never thought of it like that... Interesting.

 

I was going to say pretty much the same thing as Arneneithel. She's wise beyond her years! Older generations of women were taught that they were to please their men and of course they certainly weren't supposed to talk about it. So if you've been listening to mom and grandma talk about sex, no wonder you feel this way. :icon_bigg

I don't know some families are different. My family was very open about talking about sex although the kids weren't supposed to be listening. My husbands' family never talked about it at least until you get all the women together and alone. We learned all kinds of family secrets. One of them probably had more anal than the average gay guy. :roflmao: So I guess the discussions about it depend on who is around and how open they are to talking about it. I think todays women enjoy sex very much and aren't ashamed to say so. Heck, women can even talk about masturbation these days. That was a big no-no in my younger days. Only boys did it. :icon_wink

 

I think as a whole, we have become more open and open-minded about sex. Admitting you have a sex life may still be gossip-worthy among people, but it isn't taboo or looked down upon as much, if ever.

Like Arneneithel and beckyg stated, society thinks it's 'inappropriate' and 'tasteless' for women to enjoy and admit to having sex. I think that's complete B.S. Women have libidos just like men and shouldn't have to feel embarassed or ashamed that they enjoy sex. More power to them!

Besides the reason above, I think women don't feel the need to or have the want to flaunt their sexuality like a lot of men do. I think for a lot of women, sex is not as important or have such an impact on their lives as it does on a man's. Personally, I feel that your sex life is something to be discuss in private with your partner, close family, and/or close friends, not in public. I do not want to hear how Tina blew Jeffrey's mind by giving/having [insert sexual activity] with him last week or what Brian and Aaron really do together when they're at Brian's house.:dry:

 

Amen to that!

 

Ever since coming out. I myself have been a lot more comfortable in myself.

So much so that I've become even ruder and cruder. However I could still look at someone like Christopher Meloni or the lead singer for Rammstein (Till Lindermann) and on a purely physical basis possibly have sex with them. But that for me would be more like a one night stand. As usually I'm just odd around men.

An example of how rude I can be would be. And sorry to any gay guys reading this who may find it....... I was talking to my sister once. And we were watching a Jodie Foster film. And I said "You know how us Aussies have the reputation for drinking Fosters beer" and my sister said "Yes" I then said "Well, I wouldn't drink the beer. The only Fosters I'd drink is Jodie Foster, heh heh" then my sister said "KAT! your dirtier then I am" I merely replied with "What's new?"

In other words, I think it is not only a cultural taboo (if it is still a bit of one) for women to talk about sex. But it could also be that the woman is not comfortable with herself enough to talk about what she likes.

Also I agree with Arneneithel and Becky.

 

nah, u don't sound silly, just honest. probably more people think that than admit it. :icon_bigg and just for the record... your friends may not like masturbation, but i do..... sorry :icon_wink

 

Meh I just re-read that post. I now wish I could delete part of it as a lot of it is dumb. :bang: