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What are the reasons?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Felix, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. Felix

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    Why is it so hard to tell if someone of the same sex has strong feelings for you?
    There is this guy I like, and sometimes I just don't know. Some times, if I so much as come to close to him he backs off, as well as the fact he purposely doesn't sit beside me, even though we are best mates. Other times he wrestling with me and jumping on my back etc.
    Is he just is denial? He is very self-conscious as worries about how others view him. Some times I feel like we have secret feeling for each other.

    just wanting to know, if a gay guy is in self denial or doesn't want to be gay, would he go out of his way to avoid contact with the person he may have feelings for? Why would he avoid sitting beside me, and go to someone he knows less well? It's confusing me :S
     
  2. Lexington

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    Does he know you're gay?
    Do you have feelings for him?
    Have you told him that?

    Lex
     
  3. TheAMan

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    Consider yourself lucky. At least you're friends with the guy. The guy I like I don't know him at all and I find it hard to go talk to him to get to know him because I'm shy.

    Anyway it seems to me that he at least suspects that you're gay but he doesn't want to bring it up. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like he likes you that way yet. If you feel comfortable with it and you trust him, tell him you're gay and see how he responds.
     
  4. Felix

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    I have reasons to think he is gay and likes me, but I won't list them here.
    Is it possible that he could just be in denial? Him and I are very religious. He used to talk to me all the time, but seems to spend some time with his girlfriend now, although he used to rarely even see her at all. Could this be a phase of unable to accept something?
     
  5. insidehappy

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    the reason why it is so hard is becuase these people aren't usually gay and if they are gay, there's no way to know because they are in the closet or in denial or dont like you.

    i can't stress this enough but it is usually a waste of energy focusing on people like this. just focus on the 100 % gays and pick from that litter. focusing on potentially straight people will drive you crazy and depress you time and time again after the rejection or confusing messaging they send.

    only focus on a non-gay labeled person that is CLEARLY focusing on you, calling you, asking you to hang out, or repsonding to your requests to hang out. For all other, cut them off and pretend they do not exist and only be friends with them.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Feb 2012 at 03:39 PM ----------

    this is a phase of you being unable to accept that he has a girlfriend adn whether he is gay or closeted or straight doesn't matter. he is avoiding you so just leave it be.
     
  6. Lexington

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    Does he know you're gay?
    Do you have feelings for him?
    Have you told him that?


    If you're keeping your cards close to your chest and not telling him that you might have feelings for him, why should it be a surprise that he's doing the same thing to you?

    Lex