1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

So I'm getting with my first guy...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ballin1718, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. ballin1718

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hey everyone, I havent posted in a while and I hope your all good. I've had some updates in my life I wanted to share and get some advice.

    When I last posted, I was essentially in the closet to everyone. I was going to probably come out this semester, but a bunch of stuff happened that caused me to not be in that school anymore (it was stupid shit nothing dangerous/violent and it was an accident blown out of proportion.)Anyway I'm going back to visit tomorrow and on the way there lives a kid who I met online.

    For the record, I'm still in the closet, but I've been putting myself out there. I've been on gay chatrooms a lot and on a few dating sites. I've spoken to a few cool guys that I've wanted to meet but something always happens where it doesnt work out. Now finally, this guy I met in a chatroom wants to meet up and hook up.

    We've been talking for a few months. We met online like two months ago, lost touch for a while, and started talking again about two weeks ago. We've video chatted and we really get along, but theres one thing I'm concerned about...he's 16. I mean age isn't a big thing to me, esp. bc hes not that much younger then me, but I don't know how I should go about it.

    Also, on a side note hes completely out of the closet and has been with guys, unlike myself. I don't know if its wrong for us to hook up or not but my headd is all crazy because I really like him as a person as well. I told him too that when we first meet we dont have to do anything, we can just hang out and chat, but he kind of really wants to hook up.

    Don't get me wrong, I would loveee to hook up with him too, and tomorrow when we meet I probably will. But I'm also nervous because I havent gotten with anyone in a long time, and never with a guy.

    So I don't know exactly what I'm asking here lmao but I kinda want to know what you guys think I should do. Thankss ! =)
     
  2. TheDude

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2011
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    You should go for it! :slight_smile: but always be safe!
     
  3. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Did he want to do anything besides hooking up? The only pitfall I'm seeing is that if you even remotely like him beyond a hook-up, and he sees you as only a hook-up, it could cause some awkward tension in the future. Leading into that, you lost touch for a while; but who initiated it again? If you contacted him, it might reflect on your feelings for him a little bit (and vice-versa). I guess just be honest and figure out why you want to meet with him, and whether you're treating it as just a hook-up, or something more.

    Otherwise, I guess there's the legalities of him being a minor and all that (if the law applies to his age), but I'm not knowledgeable about laws at all.

    ^^ and of course, be safe if you go through with it. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. ballin1718

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    i cant see the replies on this, but it says there are repliess

    ---------- Post added 22nd Feb 2012 at 10:27 PM ----------

    nvm i see them lol and thankss =) and he initiated convos with me again...nd i think hes looking for like a boyfriend as am I...so maybe well have a future
     
  5. ArcusPravus

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    187
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bensalem, PA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Age of conesent in NY is 17 so there is that. But I'm guessing that wasn't what you were talking about when you said you were concerned about his age being 16. IF you like him, he likes you, and it's something you both want, I really wouldn't worry about the age gap. Like you said, it's not that large a gap and really too large of an age gap is a very subjective term anyway. My parents have eight years between them, so to me four is really no big deal. But I know friends who still have the grade/high school mentality and someone more than two years different is huge.
     
  6. TheAMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2012
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    VA
    You're 20 and he's 16? I'm not so sure about that but if you want to take the risk go ahead. I know how it feels to like someone a few years younger than you. After that, just be yourself on the day and don't feel like you have to do something to please him. Just relax and have fun.
     
  7. ballin1718

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    thankss for all the advicee =)! il let everyone know how it goes
     
  8. insidehappy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2012
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Closetville, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    you are 20, he is 16 and if someone finds out his mom and dad can say you raped him adn bring you up on charges. you can "date" but i woudl not suggest having a sexual relationship with this kid until 2 more years. please basically date 18 and older.