Am I reading too much into this?

I don't really have much advice for you because it's a risky situation, but the most important rule to remember is this: Always assume someone is heterosexual unless they state otherwise. To assume anything else is just asking for trouble. To me, it really does sound like you are reading too much into things.

I think the more important thing to talk about here is your sexuality first. Are you bisexual? Gay? If you think so, maybe you should consider coming out. If you come out first, and he is in fact bisexual, then the ball is in his court, you know?

 

Hey. This sounds like something that happened to me two yrs ago. I started hanging out with a kid I lost touch with and somehow our bromance became a borderline relationship. We bumped into each other at a concert and started hanging out everyday during the following months. He would text me in the morning to say he hoped I had a good day. We would be hanging out and he'd randomly ask me what I was thinking about. The whole thing was very weird because we would also talk about girls a lot. He would get really fucked up on coke and tell me how much he loved me and would always ask me for hugs. He once saw me in my boxer briefs and told me that he'd fuck me if we were in jail together or something really random. One of the first red flags was when we all went out and i had a girl I was hooking up with at the time come out to meet us. He started to behave almost like a jealous gf that night. I'm in my first relationship with a dude and I swear sometimes it reminds me of my friendship with this dude. I started to have feelings for him but I think it was bc I never had a guy friend that was so affectionate and nice to me. That was the first time I kinda crushed on a male friend. Eventually we stopped being friends bc he was a pretty bad coke head and Im def not down with that. I never found out what his deal was but I guess since i learned that I really didnt like his personality it made it easier for me to get over. Sometimes I feel like we were dating without the physical aspect.

Hes only 20 so taking pics of signs that say "bi" could simply be immature humor. Are there other signs that make you wonder? Just be careful with how you proceed here...You don't want to mistakenly tell him how you feel only to have him out you to his gf which would fuck things up with your gf.

 

Hi, welcome to Empty Closets!

He looks for signs that say "bi"? Like actual physical signs, such as, say, a Bi-Mart sign? Did you ask him why, or what it's about? If it's a hint that he's bi, it doesn't seem like a very subtle one to me.

Also, cheating is lame. If you are questioning your sexuality, you shouldn't act on it until you can bring yourself to be honest with your girlfriend, especially since you say your relationship is serious. Acting on it with her sisters boyfriend strikes me as an especially messy scenario.

If you are bisexual, that doesn't make it okay to cheat. If you are gay, it still doesn't make it okay to cheat--and you should really consider breaking up with your girlfriend, before you end up married with kids, and still gay.

It's still "real" cheating, even if it's with a guy.

If you are so driven to try having sexual or romantic encounters with a guy that you are willing to betray a serious girlfriend, you should really think about whether it still makes any sense to consider yourself straight. And whether you really care about the girlfriend. Because at least one of those is falling short; the more you care about her, the stronger the need would have to be, to make you consider betraying her.

But if you want to know about someone else's sexuality, it's best to be honest about your own. Telling him about your own questioning, or whatever, will make him more likely to be honest with you about whatever his sexuality is.

 

Well you could talk about being bi or curious yourself and see what he says, or you could talk about gay related subjects.
As one of the above posters mentioned you could ask him whats with the pictures of bi signs or what he does with them afterwards.

One problem I can foresee is say you manage to get him to admit that he is bi, you are still not going to know if he is into you.

 

Your situation sounds very precarious. With 3 relationships (you/sisA, him/sisB, you/him) hanging on the balance, you will have to ask yourself if it is worth pursuing this hunch of yours any further.

Is seems that you really want to know if he's bi. So I am taking a gander here that your 'feelings' for him isn't something that can be easily dismissed or buried.

If you really want to confirm your suspicions, may I suggest getting him drunk and then casually bringing up the topic? If he ever brought up the topic (ie. feel uncomfortable about the situation the next day when he is sober) you can always feint innocence/ignorance and blame it on your alcohol level.

Here are a few situations that I have personally experienced:
1. Ask directly when he's drunk

2. If option 1 isn't feasible, try daring him (when he is half drunk) to accompany you to a gay bar (when he is drunk) by saying that you have always been curious about the atmosphere of a gay bar but you don't have the balls to enter alone. Dare him to try to pass off as a gay person with you along his side over there.

3. If option 1 and 2 are no-nos for you, try admitting to him that you occasionally have bisexual fantasies and ask if he ever feels the same. Depending on how you word it, he may respond favourably without bad aftertastes later (you may go on as usual as if it never happened).


Do update us about your situation (if you feel comfortable with it)!

 

maybe u can just ask him in a jokingly way the next time he has to take a picture of something "bi" just ask him what is his fasincation with taking pics of bi stuff?

its a honest question and does not have any reference to him being bisexual. but if he is bi and wants to talk about it, he may feel ok to answer the question in a way that lets you know he is bi. i would just wait until the next bi pic time to do this.

honestly bro, you both are in relationships right now and even if this guy is bi, you both are kinda "taken" anyway so it really doesnt matter even if he is bi. my suggestion is just to feel him out but if your hope is that he dump his gf and you dump your gf for this secret potential love affair, i mean, i wouldn't suggest putting a lot of energy into that. if you decide to come out to him at some piont in terms of being bi-curious, you should do that just because you may need a freind to talk to about it or you want to come out to him about it and he feels "safe" but i dont suggest doing it just so you can see if he is bi.

 

Def get drunk with him and see what happens. Sounds like he's into it. Good luck be careful kid.

 

I say just let it go man. If anything I think you're more than a little curious because you're looking for signs...no offense, I'm not trying to imply anything. You could just be as you say. But I think for now, forget about what he's doing, just enjoy you're life, and let whatever happens in ur life to happen.

 

Ok, I normally don't get this involved in threads but I really feel like I have to do this here. Some posters in this thread are being unbelievably reckless in my opinion. Getting someone drunk in the hopes of making some kind of move on them is wrong, period, especially when TnC and his friend are in committed relationships, albeit struggling ones. What about their girlfriend's feelings and hopes and dreams? They have to be taken into account too. They have to be treated fairly.

If you want to explore your bisexuality or whatever, you should tell your girlfriend and let the pieces fall where they may or break up with her and then go to a gay bar. If you came out of the closet you wouldn't need to make schemes and read these 'signs' or try to guess what he's feeling. It would just happen if it was meant to happen.

..and I will reiterate that I think you're reading way too much into things. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but still. He thinks you're a good listener. So what. I have an emotional bond with lots of people who are also good listeners and I don't want to bone them or take them back to my bed. Your girlfriend thinks he's driving a wedge between you guys. She's probably jealous because you're spending all of your time with, thinking about, and talking about your friends. Where is the space for her in your life? Her reaction doesn't imply a sexual vibe to me at all, quite frankly. I think you're wearing rose colored glasses and you're seeing what you want to see which happens a lot. If he liked you in a sexual way, you wouldn't have needed to ask us. You probably would have already known.

 

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