So I'm 28, my boyfriend is 18. We've been together 6 months, and even talked about eventually getting married, one day. My question, or even survey, would be, is it even possible for someone to find true love at 18, or is it almost always a case of infatuation and eventually it dies off?
you can be in love at any age, however the older you get the more you are willing to have love AND reality in your life.
I'm certain it's possible; however, large age-gaps can create rifts in many ways. He is likely going to attend college, you're likely building a career. He's likely still immature in many social ways, you're likely starting to 'slow down' and take fewer risks, et cetera.
No age limit on love really. Age can tend to have a correlation to ones ability to maintain a serious relationship, but it doesn't have causation. Some young people are great in relationships, and some older people are terrible. Don't know him so I can't say how he is, but that may be something to consider moving forward. That is, is he capable of doing what's necessary to maintain a healthy, mature, serious relationship. Love isn't all it takes unfortunately.
Yes, but... At eighteen people are pretty undeveloped in terms not only of maturity, but also in terms of a more finalized personality, ethical code, and passions. Which is to say, people change a lot in their late teenage years and early twenties. It's not that they don't have a personality, ethics, or passions, just that all three of those can change, and to quite an extent, at that age. And maturity changes too. You don't need to be very mature to be in love, but you need to be very mature to stay in a long-term relationship. And remember that his personality is changing too. The sort of person he will be in a few years may want something very different out of life than what he wants now. That includes being in a long-term relationship with you. Furthermore, the age difference between the two of you is big. Ten years, which at his age is over half a lifetime. I'm not a fan of the "age is just a number" aphorism. If you're a mature twenty-eight-year-old, there are going to be tensions between the two of you in terms of what each of you wants from life right now. And there's also an inherent power imbalance between the two of you, one that could create significant problems at some point.
Yes, it is certainly possible. At 20, I fell deeply and madly in love with a friend of mine, and I am still recovering. But of course there are the concerns as voiced above. I also wonder why you are asking this question. I think that is in many ways more important. Is this a reflection of the doubts that have been raised here. Not to be a debbie downer, but I have a friend who has been dating a man who is 15 years older than he, since he was 20, and yes he has decided to move on sooner or later because he has grown up, and the age gap does matter. Of course Dan Savage and his husband are happily married with a kid and are I think a decade or more apart.
My great-grandfather got married when both he and my great-grandmother were 16, against the wishes of their respective parents back in Tsarist Russia. They were subsequently disowned by their families and forced to move from the Shtetl to the City. They spent over 60 years together, till death caused them part. So yeah, it's possible. And you're lucky to have a younger boyfriend :icon_wink, I myself dream of having a younger boyfriend who is 18-20. ---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2012 at 09:54 AM ---------- Yeah, 15 years is fairly substantial... Dating someone 4 years my junior would be perfect about now. And the gap is not too wide so as to create a significant emotional/psychological dissonance.
