Basically I'm trying to figure out if my sis is a lesbian (which is something that I have been wondering for many years). Here are some tell-tale signs: 1. She loves to keep her hair short (much to my dismay because she had such a lovely straight elbow length hair). Not too short though. She likes it at shoulder length like those j-pop stars and metrosexual french models. Basically, she likes to imitate a metrosexual boy's hairstyle. 2. She complains about the size of her breasts and always wishes to find a binder/corset thingy that conceals the breasts. FYI, her breasts aren't huge to begin with so I don't understand the fuss. When I asked her why she wants it, she says it's to stop boys from ogling at her. FYI, she is gorgeous (then again, I may be biased) but I certainly don't think that they are staring at her unimpressive breasts. 3. She loves to dress up like a hip boy. You know, hoodies, baggy pants etc. She steals my clothes. Sometimes, I rummaged her closet (in the past when I was still living with my parents) to find a cool outfit to wear (she has better men's clothes that I do, lol). 4. She swears/curses a lot when she's talking to me. You have to understand that we had a strict upbringing so she's not allowed to swear at home. However, she feels comfortable with me so I guess she feels she can be herself when she is talking to me. I'm not sure if this indicates her masculinity leanings or I'm just reading too much into it. 5. She loves yaoi (it's a genre for japanese comics for, guess what, gays. Not lesbians). What's with girls and their attraction to gays? Maybe this doesn't count as a sign as straight girls love yaoi too. Here are the signs that may indicate that she is straight: 1. She enjoys dressing up when she was a kid. Girly habits like putting on lipsticks, wearing high heels, accessorising herself with mum's stuff. 2. She still enjoys shopping for clothes (both male and female clothes). When she goes out with her female friends, she shops for female clothes and when she's with my mum, she buys males clothes. 3. She is shy in the presence of the opposite sex. 4. She does talk about boys (but only two-dimensional boys, ie. anime characters). Typical hardcore otaku behaviour. 5. When I ask her if she's a lesbian (on several occasions), she denies it fervently. What's your verdict, o'mighty EC?:icon_wink ps: sometimes I wonder if I will be able to get her admit that she's a lesbian (IF she is one in the first place) if I told her that I'm gay (which I haven't by the way because she has very loose lips)
Hmm... well it sounds to me like she is, or at least she's extremely tomboyish. I think it'd be best to ask her after you're out yourself, that way she'll feel more comfortable about the topic and know you're okay with it. Oh, and how old is your sister?
Just asking, because when if she was younger she could just be interested in what you like too, as an older brother. I used to be a tomboy because I had an older brother, so I enjoyed doing what he did. But if she's older then she may be gay.
I don't think anyone but your sister can know her sexuality. Many times sexuality and the way one dresses aren't related. I know many straight female tomboys. And I also know feminine lesbians. I do think this though>>>You shouldn't pressure her into coming out in any way, even by asking. She might not be gay. And if she is, it's best to wait for her to come out to you. Asking her repeatedly if she is gay will only make her more defensive. You can let her know you are okay with gay people and maybe she will feel more comfortable in the future. But don't point out the characteristics that make her seem like a lesbian. It might make her feel insecure about the way she dresses or acts. Ask yourself this, how would you react if she asked you several times "Are you gay?" Love your sister and support her but for now don't worry too much about it. (*hug*)
It is possible, but then again, she could be bisexual or pansexual as well. Be careful that you dont fall into the trap of looking for sterotypical traits of what a lesbian is, that could really throw you way off from what the truth is. I think the above advice is best - just let things be & if she is gay or bi or trans or whatever, she will tell you when she is ready!
I think midwestgirl has the right idea. These 'tell-tale signs' really don't tell you much about who she's attracted to rather than what kinds of things she likes. The best thing you could probably do as a brother would be to just accept her if she does end up coming out and love her unconditionally. Until then, it's probably best neither to assume nor overthink too much about who she's attracted to.
Not one of those "signs" indicate she likes women, just that she's not stereotypically feminine. If she says she's not a lesbian, accept that. If she does happen to be a lesbian (which, again, you posted no proof for), she'll come out to you when she's ready.
it sounds like she is just sort of tom boy-ish. its not really the image that matters. does it really matter though, whatever her preference, she should be happy no matter what right.
Well, I only ask her when the situation arises, or when she irks me by asking me if I'm gay and puts me on the spot. She certainly doesn't hold back her punches so I feel that reciprocating it doesn't seem that out of line. lol. We sound like arch enemies. For the record, I have a close relationship with my sis. I would say that she is the only one who has seen the most number of facets of me (except the gay facet but pretty much everything else). Not even the guys I casually dated know me that well. I'm very childish and spoiled when I'm with my sis but when I'm with anyone else (parents, dates etc.) I subconsciously try to man it up. She also acts like a spoiled brat when she's with me but I think my case is worse and she's just playing along with me. The bottom line is we have always been very candid with each other (except me lol as I haven't come out to her). It actually bugs me when she says how she wishes that I'm gay (on many occasions) so that she can see some live three dimensional 'yaoi' action instead of limiting her fantasies to comics. Yeah, she's a sick biatch :badgrin: Sometimes I have the urge to make out with my date in front of the webcam (that's how I keep in contact with my sis) just to see how she would react. I have a feeling that it would be a huge grin followed by a salivating mouth and loud cheers. Yeah, she's one of kind, my sis.:dry:
She sounds like a typical female otaku to me. Unfeminine clothing, yaoi loving, desire for boyish beauty but still finding the opposite sex attractive. A lot of this behavior CAN actually stem from overindulging in a liittlleee too much 2D boy-on-boy lovin' (yaoi fangirls were sort of my crowd for a long time, I might as well be a professor on this stuff). These girls give me the WORST signals ever, because they're usually all straight as boards, but I can never tell. Probably because those things alone don't make someone gay or straight. It just makes them... them???????? If that makes sense? Point is, I highly doubt your sister is a lesbian. Just tom-boyish and yaoi-CRAZY! :::: P
If she asks if you are gay, then maybe she thinks or suspects that you are. Since you are obviously not coming out to her, she gonna feel the same way about her coming out to you. Its very possible whatever your thinking of her, chances are she is probably trying to figure you out the same way. Also, asking someone if they are a lesbian as a defense for being asked yourself, it really isnt gonna produce the most honest responses. I'd say just let her know that you don't think there is anything wrong with being gay and let her work it out on her own. And perhaps work on your own issues with coming out before you pressure her to come out.
Er, if she's yaoi crazy and you two are close, why would you NOT come out to her? To answer the question in your original post, I have no idea whether she's a lesbian or not. She sounds like every female otaku I've ever known/heard about in high school, but...a good number of them did apparently turn out lesbian. *shrug*
i don't know is she is or isnt' but the fact that she is denying means that you should leave it alone. instead of asking her if she is, if you really want her to tell you, tell her that it woudln't matter either way if she was or wasn't. you could also tell her about yoruself but you do not want to because you are not ready to come out and if she is gay, she may blab it out to take the pressure off herself. stop asking her. if she wants you to know, seh will tell you.
