So I want to come out to my brother soon (he's 18, four years older than me), especially before the rest of my family. I know he won't tell anyone else. Maybe his friends but I honestly wouldn't care. But I don't know his feelings on gays. He has, well had, a gay friend. It's a long story, but they're not friends anymore for a particular reason. I watch Degrassi, Pretty Little Liars, etc... (shows with gays/lesbians) and he doesn't seem to hate the characters. But he points it out. Like, "Oh that guys gay." Which is pretty obvious if he's kissing a guy. Anyways, but he does that with everyone on the show. Pretty much mocking all the characters, so it's not specifically just the gay characters. He says he does that because he doesn't want me watching the shows in the first place, I guess he feels they are inappropriate for me to watch at 14 with the topics they have on or something. So making fun of them are his way of dealing with it I guess. So I think he still thinks of me somewhat as his little sister. We're not extremely close, but somewhat, and we talk. Not much about personal stuff such as that. Well we did a few times about his past relationship. So my question is, does he sound homophobic? Will he take me seriously? And should I tell him?
Before you tell him, I think you should check your suspicions first. Perhaps on the next occasion when he points out a gay character on tv, you may casually ask him if he has a problem with gay characters based on how he reacts with tv characters. Ask him when you are alone with him. Gauge his facial expression and body language. See if you can steer the topic to a more favourable situation for you to come out to him. I think it's nice to have an emotional anchor in the family, someone to talk to about it. So I think it is worth telling him, but only if it doesn't create tension.
I guess I'll try doing that, it's just that if I even mention anything about gay characters, he may already start to be suspicious of me.
He may be mentioning the gay characters because he already suspects/knows. My parents love to do this to me all the time, in fact they interject these types of things more frequently as they are becoming more comfortable with the idea. It's there not-so-subtle way of saying "we are okay with it". I agree with Carpe Diem though. Get an idea about how he feels about LGBT folks by asking him his reason for pointing them out, and if you get a good feeling ask a little more another day. It is best to go slowly, especially in the beginning. If you get negative reactions early on it can make things harder in the long run. Be careful though, I am sure you have heard the horror stories of parents kicking kids out for being gay. That would truly suck much more than any need to keep things on the DL. You know?
