Facebook Comments. "Joke" with derogatory term.

I dont see the problem.

No one is going to think you are gay because of that comment.

 

Deleting the comment might be suspicious, if anyone saw it before that. They might wonder why you were so offended. If I were in your position, I would probably keep it, but send a private message to the person who left it. Just say "I really hate that term, so can you please not use it around me? I find it derogatory, and I'm uncomfortable discussing stuff that might imply anything about my sexuality in public" or something like that.

 

i would delete the comment because it is inappropriate and i would not want something like that on my page. if someone posted something saying: you look like a f$g on this picture, i would not want that up there so i would delete it. you could respond back with something amusing but that just plays into a back adn forth message post on that topic and since she is already inappropriate i would not bait her into saying anything more about it.

i have seen on a few guys pages where their friends say somethign like "hey you look like a f&g in this pic" and the guy just joked it off and razzed the poster of that comment a bit and made a joke of it. something like 'yea i really want you bro, when can we hook up. lolahahaha". it sounds like some people just play it off with a joke. however, facebook is very public and i just say delete the comment because it was inappropriate and all inappropriate comments get deleted.

 

I wouldn't delete the comment, just incase anyone got suspicious.
Also, I'll tell you a little story. It involves 3 people: me, 1 (who didn't know I was bi, and I didn't want him to know either) and 2 (who DID know I was bi).
We were having an argument about whether or not girls can make "that's what she said" jokes. 1 said that I wasn't allowed to because I'm a girl, unless I was lesbian or bi.
I nervously said, "No, I'm straight, but..."
2 cut me off. "I disagree," before he realized what he said.
I forget what he said exactly, but he said "I mean..." after that.
And 1 was so clueless about it he still thinks I'm straight.
So don't worry, if your friends are like mine you're fine. ^^ But I suggest you talking to the person who said that comment, just to be safe. Tell them not to say something like that again, because you're nervous.
But don't delete the comment. No one will find out you're gay. :3

 

I know people who had "facebook problems" even if it isn't gay or outing related. Some people may just take it as a joke because most assume people are straight until told otherwise. But from this point on you might want to be more careful on social networking sites if you aren't ready to come out to everyone. My friend said I am a little paranoid, but being outed by accident on facebook is not the way I want my family finding out.

This is what I did since I didn't want people from my home town or my extended family and parents to know yet. I put the people that know I am gay on a list and only opened my page and pictures to those people on the list. I let anyone post anything on my account, but only people on that list can see it right away. I can go through my posts and other people's posts and open up the restrictions one by one. Other people can't tell which list they are in. It seems to be working quite well for me and I don't have to worry about what people might accidently say about me.

 

I agree that I wouldnt necessarily delete the post because it might make people suspicious, I also wouldnt make any comment on the post. I would however send a message to the person who posted it and explain how it hurt you and that you would rather she didnt post things like that on facebook.

 

I would talk to the poster (I am assuming you are out to them) and educate them on the fact that outing another person (which is essentially what was done) is bad form - a total faux pas. They will likely have not even realized this.

 

I would definitely talk to the individual that originally posted the comment. Talk to them, and make sure they know it made you feel uncomfortable, even if it was just all in good fun. I also wouldn't go deleting the comment because it would potentially look suspicious to others.

 

I live in San Francisco and here some gay women refer to themselves, lovingly, as dyke regularly. They even start the annual pride parade with "Dykes on Bikes" and everyone cheers!

You could also let your friends know that it is not acceptable for someone who is not gay to use such language.

It is a matter of reappropriation. In the same way that some in the black community have taken the "N-word" back, in order to remove the sting, some in the gay community use the words fag, dyke, homo, queer etc. In fact there is a department at City College of San Francisco called "Queer Studies"!

Still, I stick to my belief that you should gently educate this person on the etiquette of letting people out themselves, rather than outing them. It's just bad form.

 

It's your page, delete what you like. I've had people step over a line, and it's perfectly fine to decide what others will read about you. Don't get paranoid about people being suspicious, most people will probably not notice. If you're questioned, just say you don't like the term, don't stress out about people not knowing you're gay. I'm quite publicly out, but if anyone used the term queer or faggot in relation to me on Facebook, even if it was someone gay or a friend, I'd delete the comment.

 

I doubt people will get suspicious if you delete a comment someone made at your expense. She was ridiculing your hairstyle, calling it a joke/entertaining. I'm pretty sure most people would want to delete that comment.

 

No one will notice or care. People are paying less attention to you than you think. Most people just think about themselves and dont' really care that you're gay.

 

Don't worry about it, no one will think you're gay because of a little comment on facebook I would just talk to that friend and ask them not to make jokes like that. And I agree, you shouldn't delete the comment because it might raise suspicion as to why you're deleting it, but trust me, everyone else who reads that comment won't take it seriously.

 

yea i would too. if i didnt like something someone said about me on facebook, i would delete it if it was mean spirited or bothered me. i dont think i would leave sometihng up there that i did not like just so others would not suspect i had an issue with it. if someone said, you look like a flaming queeen in those sissy jeans. i would delete teh comment, and unfriend the person or block their ability to post or make comments. even if they were joking its at my expense and that's not funny. jokes are different when its one on one but makign a joke that all can see if not funny.

 

Let us know how it works out.
-Best

 

Remember that at some point, everyone of your friends will know, and I'd imagine close to all of them will be indifferent or pleased for you. So maybe it's not a bad thing that people get small hints through some of your Facebook pictures. In my case, I think many more people got to know through noticing that I was posting much more on gay rights politics, rather than having to go through slightly awkward conversations. It's actually a way social media has made it easier to be gay these days than before.

But from anyone, don't stand for words you don't like.