Hey guys. So umm...I need some advice or idea about a coming out letter to my mum. I need to come out before the end of jun because my parents are forcing me to go on vacation with them and long story short it can be dangerous for me if I accidentally come out while Im there. They arent letting me to stay home cus I have no "reason" and I havent been on vacation in a while. Anyway , Im afraid that something might happen there and Im tired of getting in stuff that make me feel depressed. So my plan is first to come out to my school counsler and maybe see if she has any advice (she kind of know how my family is) and later on to come out to my mother , so I thought a letter would be best , I'll write everything that I have and had on my mind. Ive had some ideas how to write it but I thought I better ask , Im sure that some here used this way and I just wanted to know how you did it and how did it go. Btw , I want to do this as early as possible because I dont want them to cancle theyr vacation because its kind of imortant to them. Thanks.
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/41003-letter-got-me-disowned-yesterday.html ^ Here's my coming out letter. If you read the thread you'll see that my parents initially disowned me, but our relationship has pretty much repaired itself since then and is actually a lot stronger now because I feel like I can be more open with them. My mom still has some lingering issues with me being transgendered, especially during social events where my masculine wardrobe/behavior becomes an insecurity issue for her (she is deeply afraid of being judged by others), but on a day-to-day basis it doesn't bother her. My dad doesn't care at all and is very supportive, as is my younger brother. A question though: - How could you "accidentally" come out on vacation? One thing I will say...I came out right before Thanksgiving, which made my entire holidays that year pretty damned miserable. It was the worst six months of my life. So I don't know that I'd recommend coming out right before a family vacation.
In the resources tab there is a section of coming out letters. Empty Closets - Coming Out Letters I used a letter when I came out to my parents. It worked out well. If you want us to take a look at yours before you send it we will gladly take a look at it.
Hi there! As maverick and EM68 indicated, have a look at the coming out letters in the resource section. The letters will give you some ideas. Coming out to the school counsellor, and building some support, first, is a good away to approach your coming out. I wrote a coming out letter to my parents. However, by time I was ready to give it to them, I read it to them. It went well, and better than expected.
Thank you guys and I'll try to post the letter if I can translate it good enough. maverick , they are going to stay there around one month and Im just scared that something might happen.
I just read your letter. It looks almost identical to something I would have written. I'm waiting until May when my parents will visit me to tell them. The letter helped in clarifying how I want to frame the conversation. Thanks.
Hi Jim. I understand that you are basically in your last year of school and that after school you're going to move out and go to university. So, I think you should think about where you are in your life right now. You're at a very important point in your life. You're going to have exams in the near future and you have to be careful not to let your coming out affect your future in a big way. You're living with your parents right now and you are scared that they will throw you out of your house... you've got to think about whether it would be better to come out to them when you're already moved out. You've said that the city will help you... do you know the details of this? Is there any more information you should look in to before you come out? I'm not trying to dissuade you, Jim. I just want you to come out at the best time for you. I know what its like though. You've gotten to that point where you cant stand to stay in the closet any more and, if you dont get it off of your chest soon, you may just end up blurting it out at any random moment. You know whats best. Just be prepared. And know that, if you get in to a bad situation, if you have no where else to turn, you can always turn to me and I will help you.
