Okay guys, heres the deal: I'm wondering if i'm truly a lesbian. I think i've had crushes on guys before - at least i think thats what they are.. I'll describe them: 1) 4th grade. I believe his name was Chase... all of 4th grade had to do an annual musical for the parents. Anyway, I remember watching the kid stand up with his class to rehearse. Basically, I just watched him alot and would single him from the crowd to observe. One day, i saw him acting stupid (i dont remember what he was doing.. i honestly think he may have been just laughing really loud) in the hallway and I felt really, really disappointed (i might describe it as 'crushed'). 2) Fast forward to freshman year... I had a huge crush on this guy who was quite feminine, acually. I got butterflies in my stomach, felt high all the time, ect. but i never fantasized about him, never had an urge to kiss him. after we started going out, he kissed me. It just felt like skin on skin in a sort of slobbery way (ew) It wasnt horrible, but i didnt feel anything either. Wasnt really fun or heart-warming or whatevs 3) One of my brother's friends... I'm not sure if I liked him or was just nervous ( i used to be pretty shy), but I would always get a stomach-jerk reaction when i saw him. So, my question to all you dear EC-ers is Do you think that these experiences mean i'm bi? Or perhaps a 4 on the kinsey scale? Do you think i'm merely overreacting?
I haven't dated a girl yet, but my crushes are more frequent and i fantasize about them all the time, whereas with guys I really havent (except when i was just starting to figure out my attractions and I forced myself to). However, none of my crushes with girls have given me the intensity of butterflies that guy #2 did. On the other hand, when i think about being with a guy i feel panic. Ah its all so confusing. Did that help? I'm sorry, its a bit confusing to read...
It's not confusing to read. I can see that it's confusing in your head. Is the panic with guys in general, or the guy #2, or just guys you like in general? Do you panic from girls?
I dont really panic with girls. When i think about being with one its more of a warm, exciting feeling. But with guys (real or imagined.. so in general i suppose) i feel panic and dread. But could I be feelng this way simply because i dont want to be attracted to guys and wont accept it? Is the discrimination against bisexuals messing with my perception? I don't see bisexuals as any different from other people.. but i've heard quite a bit of hatred toward them, even more so than gay people.
Oop! I suffer from the same thing: I think it helps to think about why you develop crushes on boys and girls, and how you feel about them. Example: I develop crushes over (so embarrassing but!!) internet-famous guys. These crushes tend to spring from admiration, and are entirely platonic (I'd never think about making out with Duke, or generalIvan (both Internet voice actors/comedians I adoooooooore!), but I more thing about hugging them until they pop or touching their faces). I can never imagine making out or having sex with any of them (I've tried, my brain blocks it out and goes "NONONONONONONO >::::C"). However with GIRLS, it's totally different: I can not only daydream endlessly about hanging out with them, hugging etc., but I can also go as far as to totally drift off into thinking about kissing them etc. Even when I see a boy or a girl, the thoughts that pass through my brain are different. It's all a matter of how you feel and what you think about these two sexes, I think! Thinking of it this way, I have deduced that I am pretty much not sexually attracted to men at all, but I am sexually attracted to women. However, my platonic love for men knows NO bounds, and there are many factors pertaining to it. But in the end, I'd much rather have a pretty lady in my company than a handsome gentleman.
