I have been meaning to make this post for a long time, but i only just know managed to sum up the courage to do it. I will start off by telling a bit about myself I am currently a junior in high school, but i am in a program called Running Start so i am actually going to Eastern Washington University. I began accepting the fact that i was gay in september. I told my older brother in october followed shortly by telling my mother and father. Both my brother and my mother were accepting. My father on the other hand is accepting but wont talk to me about the issue but i can tell that he still really cares about me. Recently my brother outed me to one of my good friends via text message while me and her were eating lunch with a group of her friends. When she found out she asked me why i didn't tell her sooner and she gave me a hug which was very awkward since all of her friends were looking at us in utter confusion of what just happend. Later in my brother also told his good friend who was also supportive although we have never talked directly about it. Now i am left with only three friends left to tell and then i think i am going to stop lieing and just come out to everyone. While i feel that it is nothing i can really avoid and i don't think that my life can really begin until i get this off of my sholders. These three friends unlike my other friend are all straight guys who come from very religous and conservative families, and all three have made homophobic coments in the past, but all four of us have been best of friends for almost ten years. I am very certain that one of my friends will decide to abandon me since me and my other two friends have unofficially began drifting away from him ever since he began hanging out with some lets say less than tolerant people (by that i mean that one of his new friends actually said that we should bring back slavery). I am not very worried about losing him as a friend but i feel like i have come to depend on my other two friends. For years they have actually been suspecting that i have been living a double life. Of course they jumped to somthing rediculous like that i was probably a Russian spy or somthing to that effect. They now know that i went through a phase of deep depression and almost became sucidal, but they have no idea why and i am not even sure if they were taking me seriously. So now i am just sitting here in limbo between happyness and depression and i am getting tired of living a lie. Even when i go to college i still have to live a lie because i am taking classes with some of the other kids from my school, and if they caught wind of this it would spread through my high school like wild fire because i am actually so secretive i have actually become a topic of gossip among some of my class. So after many hours of deep meditation and contemplation i realize that i should just tell my friends and get it over with because being forced to live a lie again is just sending me back into the depression that i have been in for four miserable years, but for some reason i can't bring myself to do it and i feel like a coward for not being able to tell them even though i still have a great family who will still love me and have friends who will still be there no matter what happens. I feel like i just need to quit whining about it and just grow up and face the future because there is no way i can avoid it and i don't think that i can really be friends again until they truely know and accept me, and yet i still stall and i am begining to become ashamed of myself for being such a coward.
You are not a coward. Coming out is a very hard thing to do. I've read countless posts from people here on EC who are very afraid of coming out. You worry about people not loving you for who you really are. I can tell you that those people that are your true friends are going to love you more when you are truthful and honest with them. Coming out is a process that gives you freedom and freedom is a GREAT feeling! Can you possibly just tell one friend soon and see how that goes?
That happens to me as well. I am very tired of living a lie. But dont worry, You'll find out that sometimes to shut is better to spread the words. Look: Be wise and love yourself. I know its hard (*hug*) but you will go throuhg it. Well, youre parents know! that was a big step, and I feel proud of you. :icon_bigg Remember that (&&&) friends are forever, doesnt matter if you're gay or straight. If they go away from you because you're gay then they're the ones with a problem. You will be finding the right way. Everytime you need to talk go to your mom, she seems to be very acceptant. If not, come to us (*hug*) :eusa_naug Dont change, just be yourself. We care about you! :icon_wink Just to make emphasis on what becky said, yeah, some of us are afraid of coming out. I AM! and It hurts... but as everything it will make us stronger. Have trust in yourself!
Xets said most of what I could have said. Just come out to your friends when you are ready. Your entire family knows, and trust me, that is a big step towards coming out completely, so you have them to fall back on if something happens. Once you are ready to tell them, I recommend doing it seriously, but not making a big deal out of it. What I mean by that is don't mention it casually, but don't lead up to it too much. It might be easier if you tell one friend at a time. Start with your closest friend and move on from there. Who knows, you may even change their oppinions about gay people. It happens, believe me. It happened to me. I had a freind who was a bit homophobic, but since I came out to him, he seems to have truely changed. When your friends realize that gay people are normal people, they are susceptible to a change of heart.
I really hope that you are right about them changing their mind about gay people. I actually think that i am ready to tell them. Infact i am actually waiting for one of my friends to log on to their computer so i can talk to them, but i am still not sure if i am completely ready to tell them, but i will probably talk to them and just see what happens
You think some high school friends will keep you from coming out, because they might tell other hs friends? One thing I noticed when I got in college was, high school really doesn't matter as much as it used to. While I would never have come out in hs (if i had been conscious of it, back then), I couldn't care less right now what people from hs think of me. Do you mean you'll be going to school with people from high school, or you've already chosen classes, and know you'll be in specific classes with them? There is a bit of a difference, there. I'm not sure how big a college you chose, but it's quite possible that you'll hardly ever see them, while at college. Basically, don't clam up at college because of some high schoolers. College is the place to be free of all that stuff. If they don't accept you, that's their problem.
I think he means that he is in high school, but is taking college classes with other high school students. Not that he is in college right now.
Hey, I'm a junior in high school and I'm attending a special program at the University of North Texas. I guess we're kind of in the same boat there. Your friends will eventually know if you plan on staying in touch with them after these 2 years are up. So I'd just come out to them now if you want to keep your friendship going after graduation. Are you living in a dorm? I am and I'm kind of uneasy about coming out to 300+ people and having to live with them. Congrats on coming out to family + friends!
Well to clarify actually i am taking classes at the college with other college students its just that a lot of my classes are also shared by some people from my highschool, and no i am not living in a dorm i live at home with my parents. i just ride the bus for an hour to get to the college
you are NOT a coward. just to clear that up. coming out even once is a lot more than some people ever manage. could you maybe tell some of them in writing? that can be easier. however and whenever you do it, good luck and congratulations. well done for taking your future in your hands!
Does EWU have a GSA? I know UNT has GLAD. Maybe you can go to a meeting one day before heading back home (depending on the bus schedule-- or is it a school bus?).
Well actually EWU does have GSA of sorts i don't think it is called that but it is basically a small support group of Gays and Lesbians who meet every week. I have been attending but the problem is that there are really only like 4 other people there and half of the time some of them don't show so they are actually concidering canceling the program.:icon_sad: I really hope that they keep the program going because it has really helped me coming out to my family.
