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My twin is not my twin

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by girlboyari, Feb 25, 2012.

  1. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    I only recently discovered my true identity as bigender, and it's a lot to take in, and my love (who is best friends with my twin sister), recently accidentally told me that my sister is a lesbian, and dating another girl. It just came as a shock to me, because it was so soon after I'd figured out my identity. I know that I need to support her and be happy for her, but I don't know what to do. All of this is so new to me, and I don't want to tell her that I know, because she doesn't want me to know. Also, my trans girl/boyfriend (girl in a guys body-we're undecided about titles) invited me to come to our school's GSA (gay straight alliance) meeting with her, but my sister will be there with her girlfriend and I don't know how comfortable I'll be with seeing them together. So much is happening at once and I don't know what to do! A little advice would be much appreciated.
     
  2. stephaniko

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    Seems like the best thing to do would be to talk to her. You are both going through the same sort of pressure (I assume because I dont really know you) and could probably use each others support
     
  3. Lexington

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    You've come to the conclusion that you're bigender. Why don't you tell your sister this? That'll be her open to tell you she's a lesbian. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  4. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    The problem is though, that even though we're twins, my sister and I aren't very close, and we usually don't talk about major things like this....
     
  5. Custard

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    I would just try to talk to her about it. :slight_smile:

    Try to start the convo with something like, "Hey... My friend told me you're a lesbian... Is that true? If it is, I fully support you. It's wonderful that your comfortable with who you are." ♥ If she seems angry or upset, leave her sometime alone for a while. She'll cool down and become used to the fact of a family member knowing.

    Goodluck~
     
  6. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    Well the thing is, my 'friend' accidentally told me, and was strictly told by my sister to NOT tell me. I just don't know how to bring it up without it seeming like someone told me about it. I'm new to this whole community of gays, lesbians, bigenders, transgenders, etc. and I've been feeling really overwhelmed about it all. I appreciate the advice, though, every little thing helps. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  7. Jim1454

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    Why not go to the GSA meeting and pretend you didn't know your sister would be there. Be as surprised to see her there as she is to see you. Then you'll be able to have that conversation about why each of you was there - and get it all out in the open.
     
  8. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    I would love for that to happen, but I know that she goes there, she's been going for months, and I just thought it was because she had friends there, then I learned that she was lesbian...I plan on going anyways, but I know that she'll be quite angry with me because she'll think I'm sabotaging her time with her girlfriend.
     
  9. silverhalo

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    I agree with Jim1454 go to the GSA and act like you didnt know she would be there, I wouldnt confront her about it because the person told you accidentally and when people are in the closet they often deny it if confronted but by being at the GSA it will automatically show her that you are supportive.

    ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2012 at 08:51 PM ----------

    But you wouldnt have known she was there with her girlfriend.
     
  10. Custard

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    Of course. :slight_smile:

    Hmm. I totally understand, I felt the same way when I first realized I was lesbian. I was so overwhelmed and confused, lost and... nervous. I kept thinking "What if nobody accepts me for who I am?" or "When do I come out? And who do I tell first when I choose it's time?" It can be very scary and that is totally understandable. Your not alone. We all feel like this at some point.

    Now, onto the problem. You say that your sister strictly told your "friend" not to tell you? Well... You could say, "I heard, somewhere, that you were lesbian. Maybe it's a joke, but you know, if you are, I totally accept you and it's fine. I won't treat you any different now. You still have my full respect. If your not, well, it must have been some stupid rumor." Something like that should do, I hope. <3:slight_smile:
     
  11. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    I'll try it, thanks for the advice :slight_smile: I'm thinking about talking to her Tuesday while we're both at GSA so I have people around me to help me out in case something goes wrong, I'll also have my love to help me....We can get complicated sometimes, considering she's a girl in a guy's body and it's a hard thing to wrap my head around, but we love each other too much to let it tear our relationship apart. But anyways, thanks for your help, every little piece of advice helps. <3
     
  12. Custard

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    Mhm.:slight_smile: And wonderful! Sounds like a great plan. I hope nothing but good comes your way. ♥
     
  13. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    Thank you a ton :slight_smile: