I know, I know. I already made two posts about this before. Like, all in this week. Yikes. But this is the last one, promise. Apologizes for the length of this post. Since this is the final time I'm asking/confirming my sexuality, I had to make it long and include everything that's making me second-guess myself. Before you say anything... Yes. I'm only 13 years old. I understand that. But I am sophisticated, insanely intelligent, wise and respectful for such a young girl. Please don't tell me I'm too young to know what sexuality is or anything of that matter. I'm not saying you would tell me that, but I'm just making sure. So I'm having some trouble here. I can't label myself properly. Labeling isn't the most amazing thing in the world, no. But it sure does make things a heck of a lot easier. Especially when coming out too someone. That's one of my many concerns. If I come out as, say, Bisexual, then later realize I'm Lesbian, it's like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube after you've already squirted it out. (Saw that saying somewhere on EC... Really worked in this situation for me.) I'd just like to confirm what, exactly, I am. I know I am at least Bisexual, if not Lesbian. I know I'm not Straight. I'm not Transsexual, Bigender, or FtM either. I know I'm a girl inside and out. That's one thing I know for sure. Here is a list of things that make me believe I am a Lesbian: 1) I've seen Wedding Crashes Unrated version with the fam and was insanely turned on by seeing naked women. 2) I've seen a naked man in a movie and almost literally got sick. ~No offense to anyone. 3) I can see myself having a girlfriend in the future. 4) I can see myself being in love with a girl, kissing her in public, holding hands, etc... And living together. 5) I have dreams about making love too and kissing women. 6) I don't have sexual dreams about men. 7) I currently have a crush on a girl at my school. 8) Just the sight of two girls kissing turns me on. I can't wait to do that one day. 9) Can't EVER see myself having sex with a man. Just the thought turns me off, and the visual makes me shiver. 10) I can connect to women on an emotional, physical, sexual and romantic way. Pretty long, right? Now here's the list of things that make me think I'm Bisexual: 1) I'm in love with my bestfriend. He's a guy. He's so amazing, in every little way. He's sweet, hilariously funny, charming, outgoing, passionate... Everything a person would want in a guy, if there attracted to guys that is. He gives me butterflies and I get insanely blushy around him. There's something I can't quite wrap my finger around, though. He's my very first dude-crush. No other guy, in my entire life, has ever been "attractive" to me. Sure, the occasional celebrity that's respectively good-looking of course, but not in a way I would be "interested" in. Literally. No other guy in my entire school, do I find attractive. I'm not even saying that just because I'm in love. Honest. Maybe... Maybe I'm not really in love with him, though. Maybe he's just such an insanely close friend and he's so what I would look for (in a girl) that my mind automatically lists him under the love category. I'm so confused. I heard that even if you have the slightest ability to crush on someone of the opposite gender, but love the same sex, your considered Bi. In MY mind, and in MY heart, I feel and believe I'm a Lesbian. It's just... Him. That's making me second-guess myself. I also heard that some Lesbians don't completely close off the idea of being with a guy. Maybe that's me? A kind women on one of my other two threads said I sound like a Biromantic Lesbian. It seemed okay, but it was almost as if I just wanted to keep the label Lesbian when it really seemed like I was Bi and not facing reality. I dunno, maybe that's just what I think when I hear the term Biromantic Lesbian. All help is appreciated, thanks so much. (*hug*)
I would refrain from taking notice of these labels such as "Biromantic Lesbian". There are enough labels floating about, and you having enough trouble labelling yourself in one of the three main categories is tricky enough. In my personal, honest opinion after reading through your post... You're 100% a lesbian. You were even repulsed by a naked male body in a film, so there isn't even a bisexual percentage there.
I think the only thing that matters is how you personally think and feel. Even if people make suggestions as to what they may think you are, it's your own personal opinion and feelings that matter. It sounds like you're a lesbian, but I can see why you'd be confused due to the fact that you're in love with your best friend who is a guy. The best advice I have for you is to stay strong, and not let it overwhelm you. Relax and give yourself a while to think on it before you officially decide. Hope this helps <3
@Lewnatic: Agreed with the whole label scenario. And that does make since, me being repulsed about seeing a naked male body in a film. @ari: Wow. First two sentences were absolutely amazing and completely true. It's who I feel I am, not what they think. It did help.<3 Thank you both so much, you've really cleared up a lot of confusion for me. Sounds like I truly am a Lesbian, I had a feeling... Knew it deep down inside.
Yeah I agree with Lewnatic. After reading that you sound like a lesbian. Not that thats a bad thing! I get where you're comming from. You love him, but you love girls. I honestly think that hes just what you would look for in a girl, or anybody really: a friend. So to sum it yup,I would say, you're a lesbian. (as far as labels go)
@Jordash: Gosh. You guys are so amazing. My head is so not cloudy right now, it's clear as day. I can think again, as odd as that sounds. XD Now I don't constantly have to doubt myself. I knew it all along, I just couldn't figure it out by myself, I guess. Thanks so much.<3
Have you kissed, or do you want to kiss, your guy friend? I think you said somewhere else that you would never, ever want to have sex with him. If you would never want to have sex with him, I think it's a friendship rather than a romance. Certainly, I think it would be wrong to expect him never to have sex with anyone if you refuse to ever have sex with him. Do you think he has feelings for you? Do you think you could be satisfied in an exclusive relationship with him, or would you always long for a girl? What you need to do is figure out what you want and how you feel, and then choose the closest term to use as a short way of describing that to other people. It doesn't work the other way, with you figuring out what term to use first and using that to figure out how you feel. That's backwards. And of course, we can't tell you what your feelings are. You want us to tell you whether you are gay or not to help you figure out your feelings about this guy. But really, it has to be you telling us what your feelings are, and based on that, we tell you how we might describe your sexuality. Sorry I couldn't help more... ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2012 at 02:18 PM ---------- Oops, you seem to have resolved the problem while I was composing my response.
I'm in a similar situation as you at the moment (except I'm twice your age!:icon_redf) I can relate to almost everything you say. Like you I'm starting to feel, in my mind and heart, that I may be a lesbian, and this is hard to accept, BUT like you, I've been in love with guys before, well, with one in particular. Because this, I've been confused as to what label to use so instead of saying "I'm bi" or "I'm a lesbian" to people (so far, 3 people) I've said that I like girls. Yes, it's vague, but it's not a lie. I just omit the part about guys!:lol: I feel like right now (this opinion could change anytime soon), there's no need for me to give myself a specific label. I think my label will become clearer to me from experience... From reading your post, I definitely get the sense that you are a lesbian. It just happens that you have found someone of the opposite sex you like. There's one question though, if you don't mind me asking: have you had sex with your boyfriend and if so, what was it like for you? You don't need to answer if you don't want to. :icon_wink
Not to go off topic here, but this must be quite common as I have the exact same problem, I find the male body repulsive, but I was 'head over heels' in love with one of my guy best friends for about 2 years... So I too have really no idea what to think.
@Wellie: Yeah it does seem to be common here... I don't have an answer for it though, sadly. Maybe we just adore their personality and their everything we want... In a girl? Hahahaha, I tried. ^.^' Thanks again to everyone for helping.♥
You sound really, really gay. :lol: ^ Ditto. I wouldn't go so far as to say I find the male body repulsive, but I was totally take-no-prisoners in love with my best male friend for many years, so deep it was freaking embarassing. But that being said, I never really felt strong physical attraction towards him (and he is a very attractive guy by anyone's standards, one of those people that has both genders falling over him). We even dated for a while, but it didn't go anywhere. There was definitely love and passion between us, just no sexual chemistry. I think falling in love with one's best friend must be quite common indeed.
