I'm horrible at social situations, both figuring out what's going on and how to respond. So I turn to you for advice. Sorry the post is so long! I just want to include as much information as possible, in the hopes of not having to make yet another thread in the future. I've already posted a couple times about my roommate/friend who I have a crush on. I'm 99% certain that she does not have any romantic interest in me. What worried me in the previous threads, and still worries me in this one, is how good of a friend she considers me to be. About a month ago, before I admitted to myself that I liked her in that way, I asked her to go to an orchestra concert. She used to play the violin and seems to like some orchestra music, and I was tired of going to such things by myself. She initially said she had too much homework. I was feeling a bit hyper that day and asked again immediately before leaving for the concert, saying that she could use a break from homework (from my point of view at this time she was constantly working on homework). Also, it was a Friday evening. She said that she did not want to go. I came out to myself and to her the following week. She suggested we go see a movie that weekend, but, once we realized that there were no movies that we wanted to watch, decided to instead go to a wind symphony concert the following week. Two days before she told me that she had too much homework and would not be able to go. Fast forward to the night of the concert. She didn't get back until almost midnight. I was freaking out because I thought she had gone to the library, which is located almost halfway across campus, leaving plenty of dark stretches for a young woman to potentially get attacked. In reality, she had been in the cafeteria, working on homework (maybe -- whenever I sit with her in the cafeteria, she seems to spend more time talking to her other friends than doing work). This past week there was another concert. Again, I asked if she wanted to go. She said she had too much homework. Fair enough; I didn't ask until an hour before. Then the next day I learn that she had spent the evening watching a movie with her other friends. I spoke to her about my concerns early Tuesday morning. She said she was studying in the lobby. I sent her a text saying that I needed to talk to her soon. It turns out that she wasn't studying and probably hadn't been studying since heading down to the cafeteria to eat dinner several hours prior. Instead, she was talking to her other friends. She didn't get back to the room until 4:30 AM, which is when I briefly talked to her. She said she was sorry and asked if I wanted to do something this weekend. I initially responded that I had a lot of studying to do (four out of my six classes have tests next week). Either Thursday or Friday (I don't remember which) I decided that I probably could fit something in this weekend, and I told her as much. Unfortunately, we couldn't think of anything to do. I saw that there was going to be yet another orchestra concert tonight, but seeing how the last couple times went, I decided that it probably wouldn't be worth suggesting that we go. Then Friday during lunch she suggested that we go see a play. I responded by saying that that was an excellent idea because the only other thing going on was that concert. She asked what they were playing for the concert, and, when I told her, it turns out they were playing something by one of her favorite composers. The plan then was that we would go to the concert. I started hanging out with her and her other friends during dinner about a week ago, and last night I was sitting with them. We were up really late, and, after getting kicked out of the cafeteria, we went over to their hall. I left at 3 AM, but didn't sleep for more than hour. I went to breakfast at 7 and was soon joined by my roommate and her friends, who had not slept at all. Predictably, she spent most of the day sleeping. Of course, because she was sleeping, she didn't get any homework done, so when I asked if she still wanted to go to the concert tonight...I think you get my point. I was noticeably upset, and she hurried off to the cafeteria to do homework. I dropped by the cafeteria earlier because I was starving (my crazy emotions have killed my appetite, so I don't eat very much and am constantly hungry). I noticed that she was not sitting with her other friends, who were in the cafeteria in their usual spot, and appeared to be working on homework. In short, because my friend chose to hang out with her other friends last night, she is unable to do something with me that she said she would. This is not the first time that she has not been able to do something with me supposedly because of homework while still being able to spend much more time with her other friends than she would have with me. I thought we truly were close friends -- the past few days she's even made a special effort to invite me to things and to spend more time with me -- but I just can't shake the feeling that she's blowing me off to hang out with her other friends. My question is, am I right to be upset by this, or is it just jealousy issues? Also, what should I do about it? Obviously I need to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. (Again, really sorry for the long post. I feel kind of bad posting so much about this when so many other people here have much worse problems than I do.)
I'm not sure how to edit posts, so I'll just add this here: She came back to the room briefly to pick up her laptop. She seems upset, too. Dang, I knew my emotions were going to get the better of me eventually. I guess I'd also like some advice on how to go about apologizing to her for basically saying that she cares more about her other friends than me. Yeah, I know, real mature, that was.
