So, I'm 22 and realize that I'm at least bisexual. I have been attracted to men and women for as long as I can recall, I think. I know for a fact I've always been attracted to women. I've only dated men up to this point, and there have been two that I have emotionally fallen for. My problem is... I', starting to wonder... am I a lesbian? I don't ever recall being super attracted to my boyfriends. I enjoyed their bodies during sex because I loved them and would do whatever they wanted because I loved being able to sexually please them, but never have I ever really felt a compelling attraction to their physical bodies. Women, however, are a different story. I remember having an intense physical and emotional attraction to a classmate of mine early on in college, and while she didn't turn out to be gay, it was a pretty big deal. I just thought she was gorgeous, I was all stumbly and clumsy around her, and when I spent the night at her house I was sweating bullets. I just don't get it. I don't have "gaydar", so to speak. I rarely pick up on lesbians. I'd love to find a girl just to see if I really am gay but I fell that the fact that I'm oblivious to their sexuality is a huge clue. But on the other hand, I can't ignore that fact that probably 3/4 times I fantasize about women. The other quarter is a boyfriend I happen to be with. I have a slight physical attraction to men, but rarely outside of a relationship. Which leads me to wonder: why can can get pretty close to men and "put up with" (the best way I can describe it) their physical bodies, but women drive me nuts? Am I a lesbian? Or am I a weird bisexual? And I'm really sick of hearing bicurious. I've been thinking about women like this for as long as I can remember. ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2012 at 11:29 PM ---------- Anybody...?
Sorry nobody answered your post - sometimes the queue gets pretty fast. :icon_sad: Anyways, I would say, judging from what you've written here, that bi-curious doesn't really fit you. I would say at least bisexual, or maybe in terms of the Kinsey scale, something like a 4 or 5 (if you haven't heard of it, you might want to look it up - I find it a pretty useful way of breaking down the usual "all gay," "all hetero," "perfect 50-50 bisexual" concept). Beyond that - if I'm understand you correctly - I would think the issue would be the boyfriend that you're currently with. Does he know about your attraction to women? Are you happy with him, or is this something that is causing trouble for you in the relationship? Also, about gaydar: I don't have any at ALL. At least I didn't at first - I can usually pick out if someone is gay from a picture, but usually only for people that are out, and even then that's not 100% accurate. So not having "gaydar" doesn't mean anything. Hope you enjoy the site! Keep posting, we'll answer.
It just a label, it does not mean anything unless you claim it. I know some women say they are lesbian and still have sex with guy but have relationship with other women. I straight women that have sex with other women but only have relationship with men. I would not be worried about label. Its ok to feel the way you, dont put your self in to a box, explore your sexuality and figure out what you want. Be honest to yourself and the rest will fall into place.
Well, I'm single right now. I've been in love with a male best friend, and my last boyfriend I was really in love with. I wasn't particularly physically attracted to him, but I loved him nonetheless and even though sometimes his body was a bit... offputting, I loved himand it didn't matter. Other than that... I don't ever feel attracted to guys. He knew about it and was 100% supportive. And when we broke up he said it was an opportunity to find an 'amaing guy... or probably girl' (my sexuality had nothing to do with the break up). Iwas happy with him... but during the relationship, even though if we would have lasted we probably would have stayed together long term... I always fantasized about women. I always (privately) lamented the fact that I'd never experienced dating and having sex with a woman. He was emotionally supportive. He was wonderful. Hell, he was good looking and knew what he was doing in bed. I still wanted a girl in my bed. I don't know. I know I would have stayed with him. But I can't deny I had plenty of moments where I seriously regretted not having found a girl before that relationship. Now I'm single and... I don't know what I am. Lol.
Hey welcome to EC. I think that you are more gay than bisexual. In my time on EC I have spoken to lots of girls who have been in a postition similar to yours, sometimes they have even still been in a relationship with a guy that they loved and as they have described him to be their perfect guy but somehow it was never enough. I think sometimes people think that people who are gay must think the thought of heterosexual sex repulsive but that isnt the case. I also think that it is possible to love someone without sexual attraction but that longterm it wouldnt work. Despite the fact I didnt figure out my sexuality till my mid 20's I had never been with a guy, but that wasnt entirely because I didnt want to, I really wanted a boyfriend, but was really shy and just never felt that pull strong enough for me to pursue a guy, but there were some that I thought I was attracted to at the time. At the time I didnt notice my attraction to girls but now looking back I can see where I had attraction but didnt realise what it was, I think I confused attraction for admiration. I think that fact you are single at the moment will be helpful to you, I think you should follow your desires for a female and see where it takes you, once you have done this you will be in a better place to perhaps decide whether you are attracted to guys at all. As the others have said though, labels are not important, as long as you are happy.
